Average Jane |Lesbian Story|

Chapter 8

The rival team's guard threw a wobbly pass in from under the basket. Nine seconds. Eight. The ball rolled free, and Caroline dove for it, along with two other opponents. Jane couldn't tell exactly what was happening in the next few seconds of pushing and grabbing.

The referee's whistle blew. Was the foul Caroline's...her second foul of the evening? But the referee called it against the other team.

"Right!" Jane's dad shouted, punching his fist in the air.

Caroline took her place at the free-throw line. She had two chances now to win the game for her team. The gym had become eerily quiet. How did Caroline take the pressure of having to make her best shot with everyone watching her? Jane didn't think she could stand being a sports star. She'd hate having hundreds and hundreds of people holding their breath, staring at her.

Jane's mother had hidden her face in her father's shoulder. Jane wanted to bury her own face in her father's other shoulder, but she kept her eyes on Caroline.

She felt guilty of her jealousy with her sister, and now she was praying. Please, let Caroline make it. Let Caroline make it.

The ball soared through the air, teetered on the rim, and fell away. No score. A collective moan of disappointment came from the crowd.

Caroline bounced the ball twice on the free-throw line. Then, carefully, she took aim. Jane stopped breathing. The ball swished cleanly through the hoop. 43-42.

No one watched the last two seconds of the game. The crowd drowned out the buzzer announcing that the game was over and Caroline's team had won. Jane's father had tears in his eyes. Her mother was blowing her nose.

Jane's chest was bursting with relief and pride in her sister, together with a secret pain. The wild and joyous cheers resounding through the gym were for Caroline, they would always be for Caroline.

They would never be for the Average Jane.

~*~

In math class, Jane was struggling to keep her mind focused. She hated math and believed that people who invented this hideous subject in the first place just wanted to make her life miserable.

Mr. Putnam was explaining the new lesson to them, but most of what he said went right over her head. She glanced at Lucy, who seemed engrossed with the math-monster than anyone else. Sometimes the girl would mutter the answer even before the teacher.

Then when it was time they had to work in pair again, Jane just gave up. She accepted the fact that she would never be good at anything anyway. So why try?

"Why do we have to learn all this?" Jane complained after a failed attempt to solve a problem. "It's not like we're going to use math in the real life anyway."

"Excuse me?" Lucy said, looking shocked as if Jane had personally hurt her feelings. "Everything has everything to do with math."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like all things around you," she said. "You can't build, travel to space, play music, make art, or even cook without math. It's in our daily lives. Imagine if you want to buy a shirt which costs 55$ with 15% discount? How much do you have to pay?"

"Well, isn't that a cashier's job to calculate it for you?"

"Really, Jane? That's how you're going to live your whole life?" Lucy said in exasperation. "Math is a language of the universe. If you don't first learn to understand it and grasp its symbols, you'll keep wandering through a dark labyrinth forever."

Lucy's words kind of stung, but Jane didn't let it show.

"That's a dramatic way to put it, don't you think?"

"That was a quote from the greatest mind in human history, Galileo Galilei," she told her.

"Well, I'm not Galileo, okay?" Jane retorted, irritated. "I'm a loser, that's what I am."

"No, Jane, you're not a loser," Lucy said, this time in a quiet voice, which made Jane look back at her. Their eyes met. Then Lucy blushed and looked away. Jane didn't know what else to say, so they sat in silence until the bell rang. The students began to move about. Then Lucy got up and left without another word.

By afternoon, the snow had mostly melted. There was still enough snow in shady patches, but most of the lawns were bare.

Emily had to go to her dentist appointment, so they couldn't have an after-school meeting of the Loser Club. Instead, Jane shot baskets in her backyard all alone. She tried not to think about what Lucy had said.

It made her anxious, and she didn't know why she was anxious.

Maybe because deep down, Jane started to believe Lucy's words—that she was something, and if she decided to take that something role, she would have to prove it. And proving it is hard work. Besides what if she was actually nothing? Trying to prove something when you're nothing is even harder. She wasn't ready for such responsibility.

Is it easier to be a loser? Jane thought to herself.

Maybe math is difficult because everything is difficult. Cooking is difficult. Writing is difficult. Dancing is difficult. Acting is difficult. Life is difficult. But there are always people who enjoy doing them and excel at them.

What is the secret ingredient?

Then Jane stopped shooting the ball and just stood there. She watched the ball rolling away. Jane suddenly had a dangerous urge — and one that she had never had before in her life. It was the urge that forced her to go back inside the house and sit down at her desk.

For a long moment, Jane just stared blankly into space.

"That's it," she said to herself. "I'm sick of losing."

Then she pulled out a notebook and started a list. She wrote down the goals she wanted to achieve. Jane wanted to be as successful as her sister, or even better.

A voice in her head tried to tell her that they were unrealistic and ridiculous ideas, but she shut it up by keep writing.

She wanted to get all As in all her classes. She wanted to win the science fair project. And she wanted to be taller, too. After all, she was still growing, wasn't she? She had to be. Jane made a rule that she would drink milk three times a day and shoot baskets, a hundred baskets every day after school. She would have to cut down junk foods that always made her skin break out, no greasy and sugary stuff.

Then she started with her studies. She made a rule that she must study after school for an hour every day, even on Sunday. She must read a hundred books this year. She would read even longer books than Lucy Adams would.

Her mom read an article that said if you got enough sleep, it could improve your brain capacity and memory. So Jane deleted all her social media apps and mindless games from her phone.

After she finished the list, she felt excited and motivated to start becoming a New Jane. Not an Average Jane anymore.

But for now, she had to figure out how much she had to pay for a dumb 55$ shirt with 15% discount.