A Song Of Winter And Spring: Poetry depicting heartbreak And happiness

Fade to black

Don't let the colors fade to grey,
Why did I give you my heart anyway?
I can't seem to find a reason,
Crimson fades to nothing,
Tears spill from empty places I thought long empty,
But now are overflowing.
Everything plays over,
In a mindless repeat.
I sunk right into this bed,
Maybe I'm dead,
There goes another day,
Can't get you out of my head,
In a mindless repeat,
I may not even eat.
Why am I even hear?
What did I do?
What can I say?
A loud crescendo in my head today
Nothing seems bright,
In my endless night,
I've found nothing in the void.
Empty,
But so full,
Voices crowding around,
Echoing off the walls,
Traveling down the endles rooms and halls of my mind.
Hateful and unkind.
Where am I?
Does it even matter?
Could I change it? 

My finger dig into  deep crevices of earth, sharp points and shards that cut into my skin.
Why won't he let me in?
I'm bleeding out, crimson liquid splashed against rough hughn stone.
I'm always alone.
My heart,
It aches,
Full of holes and snakes,
Cold and wet that slither in and out,
Skin clings to my frame,
Thin and frail,
I can't remember my name.
I used to know what colors looked like,
But now I see in grey,
Some things fade to black,
Others fade to blue,
But never when I was with you.
Or maybe, they did,
And I didn't see it.
A monster lurked in the shadows,
Baring long, yellow teeth revealed  in an insedious smile,
Furr covered sinews draped over his towering frame,
Ready to rip my happiness from me,

Why didn't I see?

Some things come out of the blue,
Leaving you with everything and nothing to do.
I needed you, 
but you not me,
I guess this is where I have to be.

I can't see my hand in front of my face!
I ache with hurt and pain I can't erase.

I don't know where I am!
I wish I could remember,
But here I am.
Here you are.

A door between us,
But you threw away the key.

I  pick up my sword,
Swing it around,
till I fall to the ground,
I'm done fighting.
I'm done with my despair.
I know you don't care.
I wonder who you are, 
And what you've become,
Wonder if you'll realize you chose the wrong one.

I pinned you,
Told you,
Yelled,
Screamed,
Fought,
But now here we are. 
I'm giving up on you.
It's for the greater good.
I wish I didn't have too, but you would

I don't find any happiness,
Not a speck of gain,
But I can see you now.
My tears they fall like rain.
You've clearly made your choice,
I'm not going after you.
So now I say good bye,