Leave a Trace: Book Three

Chapter Eight: Asleep

Chapter Eight: Asleep

After hiring another fifteen people, the time it took the build the house went down considerably. Within two weeks, they got all three stories poured with concrete and all the walls up. All that's missing is the roof before the work inside begins.

I begged, and I mean begged Zane to take the day off, but he was insistent that he needs to be there to make sure everything is done correctly.

And he told me I'm not allowed on site anymore because he wants to surprise me when the house is done

So instead of sitting around moping, I went with Vanessa and Emma to Ikea and bought a new kitchen for the current house we're in.

And today, we're ripping out the old one and installing the new.

All the walls are down and the house is now open concept, with dark wood floors and white walls. It looks good. I got white cabinets and white marble countertops with a large island.

The girls and I are carrying the old cabinets and the old sink to the trash, and the kids are at school. Reagan's wife Lauren and Tanner's wife Evelyn didn't come with us because they had to work.

"I cried like a baby last night." Emma announces.

"Why?" I ask, tossing a cabinet door into the pile at the end of the driveway.

"Colton was watching some movie and this guy murdered a man, which whatever, you know? Shit like that happens all the time so I didn't really mind, but it was visual, and then he killed a fucking dog."

"A dog?" I ask.

"Yes. I heard the dog crying out and I just started fucking sobbing. I cussed at Colton for watching the movie when he knows I hate things like that, and he didn't care. He can be so insensitive."

"Finn pisses me off too. He's working on your house, Belle, and working his actual job and he doesn't help me around the house. Ever. I get he works but I do too, and he's not forced to help at your house. He chooses to. I have to work and come home and clean and cook, but he works and comes home and watches TV and gets mad if I run the vacuum when his show is on."

And then they both look at me, expecting me to bitch about Zane.

I open my mouth and close it again.

"Zane fell asleep during sex last night."

"You're lying." Emma says.

"How?" Vanessa asks.

"Because I was on top, and he just...fell asleep. I didn't say anything about it in the morning but seriously, it shredded my self esteem. Was I not pleasing him enough? What if he's losing interest physically? It's been filling my mind all day."

"He's probably just tired from working on the house." Vanessa says.

"Or he's losing interest." I insist. "What if he doesn't even know he fell asleep?"

"He knows." Emma says.

"Yeah, he knows." Vanessa nods.

We go into the kitchen and start working on putting in the new cabinets, but all I can think about is my husband and me no pleasing him enough.

We're all quiet, thinking about our husbands.

"I mean, Zane's body is incredible." I say. "Like, really incredible...like...he's-never mind, but his body is rocking, and me...I mean, I've had eight kids. I have stretch marks on my belly and loose skin and my breasts aren't as perky..." I trail off, studying the counter. "And what if he's not attracted to me. What if he-"