Lost...

Chapter #4

I slowly stand up and walk over to her not trusting her since I don't know her yet. She is very petite with platinum blonde hair. Once I get over to her, I see scars on her wrist and they look a lot like mine. I started to wonder if she was a cutter like me, but she seems normal. It was probably just some accident as a kid, but of course I ask her,

"Where did you get those scars?" I ask.

"When I was a little older then you I was diagnosed with depression and I started cutting myself. Then when I got older and started feeling better I went to school to work here so I can help people that are going through what I went trough, but my name is Macy and I'm going to be your friend while you're here. If you need somebody to talk to or just want to hangout with somebody I'll always be here." she says with a smile on her perfectly made up face.

"Ok, and that's cool that you have gone through this stuff too." I say, and it brings a smile to her lips.

We then walk down this long white hallway with all the girls rooms. I peer in almost every rooms windows just to see if there are other girls like me and almost all of them are the same. Scared, sad, and quiet.

Finally we get to this room that says 'Child Psychiatrist' on a little black sign. On the inside it is a light baby puke green color with a. Desk and some expensive looking stand up lights. I then look up to see a tall man sitting behind the big desk with lots of papers and files on it.

"Sit down and tell me how you're feeling." the tall man says

"And by the way my name is Dr. Jeremy but you can call me Dr. J."

I think he can tell that im feeling uncomfortable because he's talking with the nurse, and I can make out the words to.

"She is very quiet isn't she" says Dr. J

Macy says "Yeah she's just... scared"

"So do you know anything about her?" Dr. J says

"Well I know that she wants to be dead."

After what feels like a lifetime of being asked questions i hear him say.

"She's not stable enough to be out with the other girls so let's put her on... hmm how about Zoloft and Lexapro then put her on a mild tranquilizer to keep her calm" before he could finish I start yelling.

"I'm not going to let you put me on some type of pill just to make me sleep. Who knows what you will do to me."

"Violet calm down we are trying to help you. Besides we need you to sleep and be tired until we feel that the meds are helping enough for you to be safe." Dr. J says as calm as he can.

"Ugh I'm so done with this just let me go home." I say

"Sorry, but we can't send you home until we know that you're safe and that may not be for months."

My jaw is practically on the floor when I hear this and I start balling.

"I just want to go home and see my mom I don't belong here. I don't belong in this world."

"See this is how we know you need to stay, but trust me it will get easier." Macy says as she rubs my back.