Chapter Thirty

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SCHOOL WITHOUT LEAH was long and strenuous

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SCHOOL WITHOUT LEAH was long and strenuous. Every moment was spent wishing I could be with her in the hospital, or wondering how she was doing.

Mom refused to even let me think about skipping. She made Caleb drive me to school every day so that I couldn't just drive off to the hospital, but little did she know that Caleb wanted to see her just bad as I did. He just had better self-control.

I was trying not to let my grades be affected by how distracted I always was. Over the last week and a half, I would often take my school books with me to the hospital and sit next to Leah's bed as I worked. That was pretty much the only way I could focus.

After the first few days, I got past the awkwardness of being with Leah while she was asleep. I was so comfortable with her when she was awake that I felt no reason not to be when she was sleeping.

But sitting in English class right now? The last thing I want to be doing.

"Mr. Davis?" Mrs. Spinella calls, and I break out of my trance to look up at her. She gives that teacher-look, the one that tells you to stop fucking around and pay attention. I give her a slight head nod, and she moves on.

I look over to Caleb, and I know he feels the exact same.

The two of us haven't talked much since Leah... fell asleep again, but I can feel it coming. It's just too much for both of us to keep inside, and eventually, we won't be able to.

The bell rings, and I let out a sigh of relief as I haul my backpack over my shoulder and follow the flow of students out of the room.

I meet up with Farah, who's waiting for me to walk to biology. "Hey," she greets, giving me a smile.

"Hey," I say, falling into step next to her as I'm reminded of something. "What ever happened between you and Caleb?"

She gives me a sad smile before looking back down at her feet. "He's nice and everything, but I just don't think it would ever work out. At least, definitely not right now."

I frown, a little confused. "What do you mean?"

She looks back at me before looking ahead of her, making sure not to run into anybody. "Caleb is nowhere near the right mental state right now to even think about a relationship, or even really anything but his sister. And I don't know when he'll be ready again, so I don't want to put any pressure on anything."

I nod, understanding her thinking. "That's a pretty mature and strong thing to say. If I'm honest, I don't know if I'd be able to do that."

She chuckles, pulling open the door to the classroom as we both walk in. The bell hasn't rung yet, so we can continue talking. "You're in like, the total opposite boat as I am right now. Your total focus–well, besides school–is on your girlfriend. I definitely don't envy you, but I do wish I was able to be there for Caleb the way you are always there for Leah." She slides into a desk, and I sit down in the one next to her.

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