~Tired of Pretending~

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Hey guys!

I know this chapter is actually extremely short haha but I really liked how it went so I just decided to leave it where it was, I hope that's alright?

That and I know you're always happy with an update, yeah?

I hope you like! I know we've been having some good times with the latest chapters! Yay! I'm so glad! Thank you so much for all the comments and the stars! I really appreciate it! It really helps me want to continue this writing! So thank you so much! :) <3

As always...

Enjoy~

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What the hell just came out of my mouth?

Did I just tell her I still loved her?

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen the absolutely surprised look on (Y/n)'s face as she lied there still holding to my arms after pushing them away from her to resist my tickling only a moment ago.

A moment ago.

Before I ruined everything by just blurting out a random string of feelings. Overwhelming feelings, yes, but still just feelings. Feelings I probably could've kept to myself if I had better try.

The silence was even worse now than it had been earlier and it began to make me nervous when she wasn't saying anything. What on earth could she have been thinking? (Y/n) was going to refuse to see me, yet again. Our friendship was over and I ruined it all over again, just like I had years ago.

Why was I so stupid? Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut?

"Wh-What?..." Her voice brought me out of my spiraling worry and I focused on her again. She looked less scared and more confused now than when I had said it. What did she expect? Me to repeat it? If that was so, she was mistaken, I was not going to re-make the blunder that just occurred. Though after a short time of me not answering, (Y/n) sat up slowly, watching my face the entire time, "Di-Did you just tell me that you...loved me?" I heard the uncertainty in her tone and it nearly made me sick to my stomach as I sat up to join her.

Wanting to deny my entire existence in that exact moment though knowing that wasn't quite an option, I stumbled over my words for a moment, "W-Well, what I believe I said was 'I was STILL in love with you'...actually." Then I noticed that wasn't as diverting as I had thought it seemed in my head and I sighed nervously, lowering my gaze. "Yeah....yes. I-I suppose I did, yes." I answered quietly with a nod, rubbing the back of my neck embarrassedly as my cheeks started to burn brightly. "I...uh-listen, maybe we could-perhaps-just ignore that and-"

"Say it again." She interrupted me, her words hitting me with bewilderment and I snapped my eyes to look directly at her. This time it was my turn to be utterly perplexed. Did she really just ask me to tell her again how I felt?

Was I hearing things?

Was she mocking me?

No, she wouldn't do that.

Then what was this?

Taking a moment to recapture my thoughts, I shook my head slightly then cleared my throat. My eyes came to rest on her face again, fixing my glasses, "Huh?" I muttered in confusion and (Y/n) didn't even miss a beat as she repeated herself with the same tone. I was at a loss as to why she was making me tell her again. Was it some kind of joke? Did she think I was kidding?

Why did I care?

When did (Y/n) asking for me to tell her how I felt scare me so much? When did I actually become scared of how I felt for her? Was I really going to deny the woman I loved her request? Especially if her request was to hear me tell her how much I absolutely loved her. Had I gone insane? I'd been dying to tell her for so long how I felt and when she finally asks me to tell her, I choke up?

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 19, 2018 ⏰

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