Show You How To Love (Mitch Grassi X Reader)

Healing (Continuation of ending 1)

Losing the baby really took its toll on us all.

Physically, I had to wait about a week to get out of the hospital. Even then, I still get pain in my belly, my back, my legs, and my chest.

Mentally, the damage is much worse.

I can't sleep again. I've been getting more and more PTSD episodes. I often forget to eat. I have a hard time to leave the apartment.

I really feel bad for Mitch too. He was really looking forward to having a kid. There was a spark in his eyes every time he'd think about the baby, but now that spark's been replaced by shadows.

We got rid of all the baby stuff. Mitch and I couldn't stand having it just sit there in our room, empty. We let Scott and (F/n) store it somewhere incase something happens someone in the family needs it.

Scott and (F/n) also are grieving over the lose. They were soo excited. Mitch and I were going to but them as the god-parents.

A few of our friends came by to visit. Kirstie the most often. That girl is soo sweet.

Speaking of, she wants me to go out with her this morning.

I don't want to, but everyone agrees that it's a good thing. I don't know where Kirstie's going to bring me but I don't think it matters.

I'm wearing my old "Be Yoncé" shirt with my hair up today. Kirstie said it doesn't matter what I wear.

There's a knock on the door and I let Kirstie come in. She's all smiles, which is quite contageous.

"Hey Kirst!" I hug her tightly.

Her arms wrap around me and she hugs me right back. "Hey (Y/n). All ready to go?"

I nod and ask if I can bring my camera, which she agrees. As I grab my bag, she suggests I bring Autumn.

Mitch and Scott are filming a Sup3rFruit video right now, so I just text him that I'm leaving with Kirstie. (F/n)'s out doing some shopping then he has to go to work.

I clib Autumn's leash on. "All good."

I'm glad that Kirst has a car. We don't have to walk through the chaotic streets. Olaf (Kirstie' dog) is waiting for us. Kirstie keeps a steady conversation with me the entire way. The drive was about 45 minutes long.

"Here we are!" Kirstie says excitedly.

I look out to find that Kirstie's brought us to a sea-side walking path.

"I figured I you'd like some time out by the beach." Kirstie says quietly, almost hesitant of herself.

I smile at her. "Well, I do like the beach."

We get out and let the pups out too. They bounce happily from the car, noses in the air, taking in the salty scent.

Autumn sticks to my legs though, which is fine with me.

At first, the walk is quiet. I, lost in thought, whilst Kirstie seems to be afraid to break the silence.

Slowly, I begin to engage in conversation with Kirst again. It started with a memory a have of Kirstie and I in Paris. We all went shopping before we had to hit the road again, and Kirstie and I had found this cute little boutique that sold jewelry. I remembered how Kirstie pulled me in with her to help choose something.

While there, Kirstie and I had a pretty deep conversation between checking out a beautiful pearl set and one of sterling silver. She opened up to me about feeling not good enough, despite being so successful. Especially with her boyfriend, Jeremy. She felt like he was out of her league and that there were soo many other girls out there that are way better than her.

"But they aren't you." I told her. "There's seven billion people on this planet but only one you. You're such an amazing person Kirstie. You're sweet, kind, and caring. You may see your faults, everyone has their faults, but don't let them define you Kirst. That will tear you apart if you let that happen." I paused for a second. "I know what I say probably won't change how you see yourself. But Kirst, Jeremy doesn't only see everything that's good about you, but he sees the bad too, and he chooses to love you all the same. That goes both ways. There are things about him he'd probably like to change too, but you still love him, right?"

She nodded.

"Then that's all that should matter. That you love each other." I finished.

After that, she gave me a strong hug. There were tears in her eyes. "Thank you." She murmured.

Since then, the two of us are like best friends.

"What are you feeling now?" She asks, pulling e out of the memory.

I'm quiet for a moment. "It's hard to explain..." I start. "I feel angry. At myself the fact that I've gone through so much and caused others so much pain. I've never been very religious, but now I have absolutely no faith in any sort of 'holy-being'.

I feel sad. Because of my dad and because of the baby."

Then I realize the one that doesn't quite make sense to me: "I feel... lonely." I look directly at Kirstin this time. "I feel empty inside. I have all these people around me all the time who love me and care about me, but I still feel alone."

Kirstin looks over the water for a moment.

"It's okay to feel like that." She responds, her voice soft. "I don't blame you." Silence creeps up again but Kirstie cuts it off. "There isn't much I can say, except to not give up. There's going to be things that you're not going to want to do, but maybe doing them will make you feel better."

I nod. She has a point. And now I know what the next big thing I have to do is.