Why Aren't You Smiling?

Chapter sixteen

Wick Greenwood

Jeffery bounces his legs and stares out the window, I doubt he's ever been in a car for longer than thirty minutes. I lean my elbow on the window with my head rested in my hand, driving with my right hand, it's 7 am already.
"So-" he takes in a big breath and turns his head towards me, "I noticed, that we're not passing any signs that mention the places you said we were going."
I nod and ruffle my hair, "I thought we could do a bit of sight seeing." Sitting up straight, I flex my hands around the wheel and get off the exit, "Actually, we have been passing signs that mention the places I've spoken about. But I changed my mind about the entire plan. Let's just stop where we want when we want." I pull my left leg up on the seat, "Not like it matters much either way."
The next twenty minutes are quiet, we park in a large parking lot of a mall. "I think you should be able to experience some things before we leave." I reach into the back seat and grab a small backpack, in it are small essentials. The bag isn't that full though, I pull out a mask you use for when you're sick, a hair tie, hair brush, and a baseball cap (or SnapBack as most refer to it).
I usher Jeffery to the back seat and have him face the car door, he doesn't question it really. The brushing of his hair takes some time, and a lot of effort. I'll buy some leave in conditioner and dry shampoo for him. I pull his hair up into a pony tail, place the cap on his head and pull the long pony tail through the hole of the cap. Jeffery puts on the mask and we leave the car after I quickly put on some makeup.
The mall is crowded, but everyone is dispersed in different stores of sorts, Jeffery and I walk through the mall, neither saying a word. Perhaps I could cut his hair, but I don't think it would look good short, so maybe shoulder length hair.
Where would I be without Jeffery right now, would I be stuck in the same job, with the same patients? Likely so. I can't imagine being without him at this point, my life has been so blurry but it's like wearing contacts now. It's all so surreal, it's absolutely absurd.
      My eyes dart to Jeffery, he's looking around and gripping my hand for dear life. To think that such a man as he, could turn out to be so emotionally vulnerable, nothing makes sense about him. In all of my years as a psychologist, I never have met a psychopath with emotions to this extent. The fact that this man, who is certifiably insane, has emotions of love, it drives me insane.
      He looks down to me and squeezes my hand, this is killing me. I'm off my meds and being poisoned, a toxic combination.

      Loud screaming pierces my ears, my arms are heavy and legs sore, the room spins and red is the only thing I see. It's hot, it's so so very hot, smoke is suffocating me. Someone grabs at my ankle, digging their claw-like nails into my flesh. She smiles at me whilst crying, her makeup is ruined, and her body is being devoured in flames. She climbs my leg with her hands, desperately trying to survive. She's nothing but a rat, I raise my axe and bring down quickly on the back of her neck and head. Her eyes go wide, smile fades, tears stop, I kick her off of me and let the fire eat her. I watch her body melt and distort, skin peels and falls from her bones, she stares at me with disappointment, her lifeless eyes judge me even into death. A mother never stops watching her child, not even during her journey to hell.

       I jolt, gasping for air and clenching the arms wrapped around me. Sweat drips down my forehead and I burrow myself deeper into the chest of the man holding me. I look around, making sure I'm still in the backseat of my car, being spooned by Jeffery, and not in a house burning with blood soaking my clothes. My whimpering ceases as Jeff starts petting my head and shushing me. I turn to face him and clench his shirt.
      "Can you promise me something?" I ask, being as desperate as the woman in my dream.
      "Depends." He wraps his legs around my waist and waits for my question.
      "If you don't love me, spare me and make it quick and painless. Even if you do love me, when the time comes, make it so." I tangle my fingers into his long and thick hair, tugging lightly.
      He watched me inquisitively, but does not respond. He brings my head into his chest and rests his chin on the top of my head, an uncertain answer. We both know that this, this, is a death sentence, everything we're doing is a death sentence and it won't end as peacefully as being put in an electrocution chair.
      
     She sits on the floor in front of me, sitting quietly in front of the fire place as I run the brush through her hair. It was very rare we ever had a chance to listen to quiet, so when we did we made sure we listened carefully. But something seemed to be weighing on her mind today so we would have to wait patiently for another chance of silence.
      "When will we leave?" She asks, in the voice of a whisper.
      The brush tugs at a knot in her long hair, "We leave when the moon rises no more, and when the stars shine not."
      She crawls towards the fire, leaving me with my hand still in the air ready to stroke the mangled mess of hair that has just crawled away. She tends to the fire and sighs loudly.
      "How I wish he were the wood I poke in the fire, that would be more satisfying than the pop and crackle of flames."