Forgetting Love

22

I'm still in shock. This looks like it belongs to a scene from a movie. Chandeliers are for movies or books, not homes. "I don't know," I look down and quietly say. I want to say I like it, but I honestly don't. This place doesn't feel real.

"Hey," Chris says softly. He puts his fingers beneath my chin and slowly makes me look at him. I don't look at his eyes. They're too powerful, just one glance could leave me paralyzed. "You'll love it here, I promise. It can be our own little paradise, plus it's the perfect place to have a

family."

"But don't you think it's a little too much?" And secluded, I think.

"Only the best for you."

I feel a blush coming on. Stop it, I mentally scorn myself. I need to do my best to get out of here. "Chris, it looks like a resort. Not a place to live in."

Chris thinks for a moment. "How about we give it a try for a few weeks. If you still don't like it here, we can find somewhere else," he offers. I can see it pains him to say this since he really likes it here.

I figured he would tell me to live with it or something along those lines. It surprises me that he's actually listening to me for once. "You- you'd do that for me?" I ask more to myself than anyone.

"I'd do anything for you," he says sweetly, caressing my cheek.

I look into his eyes, slowly losing myself. "But you really want to live here," I say weakly.

"I'd want to live anywhere, as long as you and our baby were there." My heart melts and knees go weak at his words. A part of me wishes deeply that all of this could be different. If Chris didn't kidnap me, this wouldn't be bad. In fact, it would be great-

Wait. What am I thinking? There's no ifs about this. He kidnapped me, and lied to me, and hurt me too many times. Things can't be different. They won't ever be different. It won't do me any good to even think about it being different. Chris ruined me in ways that that can't be fixed.

I turn away from him, giving him my backside. "Ok," I say emotionless.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks confused. I feel him touch my back and I flinch away.

"I'm fine." I give him the cold shoulder. "Just give me some space." I expect him to leave me alone, but he surprises me again.

Instead of his sweet tone he was using just a moment ago, he now sounds dark and agitated. "No," he says forcefully. He grabs me by the shoulder. Before I have time to react, he spins me around to face him. "I'm not going to let you just run away from me again. We are going to work this problem out."

It's not like I can just tell him what's wrong. It will only make Chris worse. "I don't have a problem," I grit my teeth. He stares me down, but I stare right back. I don't waver.

"I don't believe you." His grip on my shoulder keeps getting tighter. I feel his nails digging into my skin through his shirt. I hold back a whimper.

Finally, I can't take it anymore. He wants an answer? Fine, I'll give him one. "You are my problem," I spit. "One moment you are all nice and caring; the next you are hurting me. You're a volcano, Chris! You keep getting worse and worse. It's only a matter of time before you erupt! I'm scared for my safety, you know that? I'm scared for myself and this baby, but there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing at all."

The following moments are filled with tension. Neither of us move. I take deep breaths to calm myself down. He won't look me in the eye. "I live in fear that you will hurt me more. It's worse now since I have this baby to protect too, not just myself, and I can't even do that obviously. This baby should've never happened. She came from your sin, but I love her still. I'd do anything to keep her safe. How am I supposed to do that if I can't even trust her father? Chris, I hardly know you," I say softer than before. His grip on my shoulder loosens. It stings, but I've dealt with worse.