Secret Santa L.S.

Two/Two

When something bad happens to you, there's always a sense of fear and panic that courses through your veins, taking over your body so you're paralysed, even if it's only momentarily. It's your body's way of processing the information, absorbing it into the blood until eventually it seeps into the cells.

However, once you can feel again, you start to react. You're upset or angry or hysterical and there's only so much you can do in one moment. You can cry or scream in fear or in anger.

Harry didn't feel anything at all though. He was completely numb. For months he felt nothing until eventually he did start to feel, even if the feeling was sadness.

"What do you want for lunch, Haz?" His roommate asked him. Harry was on his laptop, glasses perched atop his nose, his curly locks in a neat man bun and eyes fixed on the square screen.

"Dunno," Harry muttered, looking up briefly from his laptop to see what Liam was making, "I'll have what you're having."

"Salad it is then," Liam began making the food and Harry sent him a small smile, "Are we still going out for drinks later?"

Harry hummed, "I think so," He had a sip of his coffee, "I wanna celebrate."

"I'm really happy for you, H," Liam tossed the salad and Harry typed something into his laptop, the words appearing on the screen, "You worked hard for this."

For months he felt nothing until finally Harry felt something, even if it was sadness. Then, he suppressed everything, becoming even more quiet and reserved- if that was possible. What he did in the months after the incident was start his own business, albeit a small business. He couldn't work at the office anymore, he refused. So he left and thank god Liam was an amazing roommate because he missed a few months rent in order to start this business.

Harry bit his lip, his teeth digging into the plump flesh before he let go and thanked Liam for the salad. Things were often quiet in the Styles-Payne apartment and they liked it that way. They liked the fact they could sit in a comfortable silence and nothing was ever awkward. Of course, Liam noticed the way Harry'd changed in the last few months, but he assumed it was just a 'new year new me' sort of thing.

"I never asked you how your tinder date went." Harry remembered.

Liam used to have a steady girlfriend, Sophia, and Harry was always jealous because they were the perfect couple. Then, Sophia got a modelling gig in America, so she moved there and Liam was too much of an anxious person to move, which was fair enough. The couple tried long distance but once again, Liam was too much of an anxious person to trust Sophia to not cheat on him or 'accidentally fall in love with someone else', in his words.

The older man shrugged, habitually rubbing his hand over his stubble, "It went okay," He sounded a little on edge, "She uh, she wasn't what I was expecting." He admitted and Harry tried not to hold back a laugh. He smirked, one dimple appearing, deep enough to be a swimming pool. Teasing, Harry questioned, "And what were you expecting?"

Clearing his throat, Liam sheepishly replied with, "Someone my age."

"What? Was she like fifteen or something?" Harry asked confusedly.

"No! God no! I'd never- She's thirty four." Liam said.

"Oh, well..." Harry pursed his lips, "That's not that bad."

"You can say that," Liam pointed out, "You and your perfect boyfriend."

Harry laughed nervously. He and Louis were far from perfect. Ever since Louis found out about what happened he treated Harry differently. He was too tentative and at first Harry appreciated it, and he knew Louis was doing it to be careful but Harry wished it was like they were before.