blue diaries

goals

goals                                                                                      January 2014

The two and some weeks I spent at home were okay. I did get tired being there after a while and I barely found any time to do this. It was frustrating, as the days when things did build up inside of me I didn’t have anywhere to release it. After New Years I did get to come back, with a whole new mindset. I had set myself some goals that I would set out to achieve after my exam. I had gained this confidence out of nowhere and I liked it.

After I got back I spent a whole week, most of it with Kaeden, prepping for our exam. This wasn't the first time he had helped me out and I was just so grateful. I feel like as the days go by my feelings toward him just get stronger and stronger. I try my best to conceal them but it’s so hard to do so when he keeps being perfect.

When our exam was over we still had two weeks until our second semester started. From that day I had decided to start on eating more healthily and also start paying the gym more visits, as those were one of my goals for the New Year. I just couldn't put it into play any earlier due to the amount of time I spent revising. I just hope for once I could see something through until the end.

The first week after our exam I spent the majority of the days with Kaeden. I had started on Scandal and finished the first season in about a day. On Thursday, after I had been to the gym and then showered, I decided to head to Kaeden's. I didn't call him to pick me up as I thought I should now start to walk to places instead. I text him, letting him know I'd be there in about thirty minutes.

I arrived at his place and his flatmate Cameron opened the door. I smiled at him as he stepped out the way letting me in.

"You okay?" I nodded and watched as he slipped on a pair of burgundy Nike Roshe's

"You heading out?" I questioned. He nodded picking up the keys from the table as he threw on a jacket.

"Yeah you know me,” he said turning around, flashing me a smirk with amusement clear in his brown eyes. I shook my head, chuckling as he gave his iPhone a quick glance.

"Have fun." I slipped off my chucks as Cameron left and then smiled at Kaeden who walked out of his room as soon as he heard the door shut. He gave me a nod before collapsing onto his sofa. I sat beside him and smiled as he sighed.

"What's the motive?" he asked as he pulled out his iPhone. I watched as he grinned at his screen.

"Netflix? Scandal? Please. I'm hooked." he put his phone away and met my pleading eyes.

"Aight. What episode are you on though because I'm half way through season 2 still."

"I'm on like episode 5, season 2." he nodded and switched on his PS4.

A couple episodes in and I had a bowl of popcorn, my eyes glued to screen, as was Kaeden's. I felt him shuffle before I saw his legs coming my way.

"Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?" I lifted the bowl away from me and moved back.

"I need to stretch my legs out man. I'm getting cramps and pins and needles and all sorts." I squealed as he continued to stretch his legs out.

"What’s wrong with you?"

"Don’t have your feet facing me please." I practically begged.

"I'm not touching you Silv." he raised an eyebrow as I inhaled and exhaled.

"I know but... just... just don't. Please."

"Alright." I smiled in appreciation and faced and bought my attention back to Olivia Pope again. Not even seconds later I felt Kaeden’s head in my lap. I stiffened as he made himself comfortable. I glanced down at him as he looked up and I gave him a questioning look. He knew I always felt uncomfortable when he closed the space I always deliberately kept between us.