sorry || ongniel

Twenty One

Ong stood there, on the cold wooden floor with his arms wrapped around his legs. He scanned blankly on the piece of paper on his palm, penetrating it and was certain that he didn't want to open it. But that piece of folded paper seemed like it was calling his name over and over again, asking him to read it. 

His heart was already in pain. It felt like pieces of glass getting knocked again and again with a hammer until it turned to powder. He took a glance on the paper, scared to open it. Not wanting to know what was written behind it but his curiosity, it kept on attracting him more and more. He ran his fingers along the edges of the paper, brushing it off softly. His hands were shaking due to the feeling of disbelief tingling in his chest.

Why would he do this to me?  His heart whispered. What did I do to deserve this?

Ong exhaled the reamining air and adjusted his seating position. He toughened his weak heart and followed the eagerness of his curiosity. He inhaled the air deeply and started to unfold the paper. A sigh was out as he looked into the words one by one carved in blue ball pen. "I'm not ready for this," he stated as he closed his tired eyes, "but I have to,"

'So um, hey there love! I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't leave you like this, suffering on your own without me being there to tell you that everything will be alright. I should be there, I know but sadly I can't and I'm sorry. For doing this. I blame myself too.'

'But, but my dearest Ong, you were the loveliest person I've met, from inside out, it was spectacular being with you. I've fallen for you too hard that even  your flaws looks perfect to me. Your eyes were sparkling every time it met mine, your touch was so soft that makes it hard for me to leave but I'm doing this for what's best. Not just for me, but for both of us. I love you, so much that it hurts deep down and it leaves me nothing but a painful scar in my heart but please Ong. Listen to me. I want you to stop your suffer.'

Ong paused. It was just a paper with carved words but the last sentence made Ong's heart felt heavier. It wasn't something that he wanted to hear. The letter didn't stop there, on the back side continued another paragraph that Ong didn't want to continue. He just wanted to tell himself that it'll be over. His emotion told him to stopped every time each words passed by, but his mind, it kept on asking him to read because maybe, just maybe, it was the last time. So he chose to continue.

'Forget about me, forget about my touch, my eyes, my voice and my hair that makes it easier for you to spot me. Don't hurt yourself while I'm gone, because I know I won't be there to heal it for you. I'll try to come back if I can but i doubt that. You and me, it was a very adventurous journey and you were the most amazing thing that has happened to me.'

'I love you, i really do and everything we had was real but just for right now and the future, make yourself hate me. Hate me for who I am and for who I'll become. Fill your days with happiness so I will not come across your mind and I will do the same. It'll be hard for me and it'll be harder for you, i know but do it slowly. Your feelings for me will die eventually so please Ong Seongwu, hate me with all your heart.'

Ong was tongue tied. This wasn't something that Ong wanted and it wasn't something he expected. It was hurting deep down. It felt like he was shot directly into his chest, like needles penetrating his heart. 

Tears rolled down his cheeks as his eyes couldn't held back the tears. He laid on the floor and realized that his eyelids were slowly dropping like curtains. He closed his eyes and finally dozed off.

The sunny bright sky somehow turned dark, the clouds turned grey and the perfectly built world was crumbling and falling to pieces. His view was starting to black out and he was already drifting into a dark hole of unconsciousness sleep. He wanted to cry but the tears were all gone. It was a feeling of sadness with a never ending road to happiness. Daniel hurt him bad and it was too much for Ong. It was just too much for his fragile heart. 

*********************

A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update, I was quite busy. But hope you enjoyed it.