Chapter 4- Control

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You are in control...

You're IN control...

You will not let the beast out.

You are here. You are in control.

I chant that over and over, staring into the mirror in my en suite, willing myself to believe those words

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Maybe Dad's right, I should stay here...

No! I have to prove to him I can do this!

I turn on the tap and cup some of the water into my hands. I bend down and splash the water onto my face. I grab a towel and dry off, looking into the mirror as I do.

"God you look horrible!" exclaims Miakoda.

"Thanks Miakoda, I haven't noticed."

She's not wrong. My face is pale and I have bags under my eyes. I had that nightmare again and I once again woke up with my sheets drenched in sweat... well, what was left of them anyway. I kinda shredded them to pieces.

I walk out of the bathroom and am welcomed by Clara who's sitting at my vanity near the door to my walk in. I'm glad I got some new sheets put on my bed before she arrived. Last thing I need is for her to ask questions. She turns to look at me.

"We're leaving in the next hour, make sure you... What happened to your arm?!" she exclaims, standing up and making her way towards me.

"What?" I ask, having no clue what she's talking about. She grabs my right arm and pulls it out towards her. I growl when I see four long claw marks going from the inside of my elbow all the way to my wrist.

"Dammit! I forgot to cover it up." I curse to myself. Did I forget to mention that I scratched my arm while I was having my nightmare.

"It's nothing Aunty. It's from yesterdays training session. It was an accident, thats all" I quickly say, hoping she'll believe my lie. I've always been a good liar and I prayed that this wouldn't be the first time I failed at it. She threw her hands up in the air and let out an exasperated sigh. She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Ugh! Your father. I should have known. He's been pushing you too hard. I'm going to have to talk to him." she groans, aiming to turn towards the door and no doubt search for my dad. I grab her arm before she can.

"No! Honestly Clara, I'm fine. It had healed straight away but I must have scratched it in my sleep and opened it again." Honestly, I just don't want her to question my dad. I only got nicked yesterday in the fight with Dex and my dad knows that. He would just get suspicious and come and question me himself. 

He would just ask why I'm having nightmares which I'm not ready to talk about with anyone.

Clara gave me a hard look. I made my face appear calm and gave her a small smile, letting her think it really is nothing to worry about. She lets out a breath and when she looks at me again, I know I've convinced her.

"Alright, bandage it up and put a jacket on. A newborn seeing blood will have the same effect as a newborn smelling blood. Attack first, guilt themselves later."

"I know, don't worry."

"Get dressed. We'll gather at the front of the house when its time to go.", with that, she pats my shoulder and then heads out the door. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as the door closes behind her.

Too close for comfort.

I gaze out the window, seeing the sun begin to set behind the trees. I breath in through my nose and walk to my closet. I grab my black jacket along with a blue tank top and black high waist jeans and then grab my black knee high boots. On my way out, I grab my brush from my vanity and try and brush out the nest that is my hair. I make my way back towards the window and plunk down on the cushions on the wide window ledge. I proceed to braid my hair into a loose fishtail braid down my back and then hang it over my shoulder.

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