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Is Magic a Super Power
By
jenny_the_writer
I love the prologue of this story, the instant facts of what is going on showed instantly.
However, I find lots of authors don't stick to one POV in the third person. Also, the double description doesn't give the reader a clear image of these characters correctly. I'd personally think the author should change this, as this put me off continuing to read. However, the surrounding description is perfect, giving you the mystical feel of the power of this story.
I love the main character, her anxiety is shown beautiful through her actions, body language and senses. The author has done an amazing job, getting the feelings, behaviour correct for anxiety. Not only does this character have anxiety issues, you can sense the underlying of social anxiety and panic. The changes in life for a person with anxiety is deathly, which this author has pointed out lovely. Bravo.
This story is well written, no grammar issues at all which is beautiful. However, I noticed some sentences this author uses the same description words twice in the same sentence, which I'd switch up these words.
Also, a sentence caused me to question, "knocking on a door while someone has headphones on and for said person to hear them, is rather difficult." As an artist, usually loud music downs out you thoughts and feelings, leaving you a blank slate, especially a person with anxiety. Therefore those around them do need to be more bold, forceful in gaining their attention when they are in a bubble of there own. (I'd advise rephrasing this, or changing it up).
I love the originality of this story, adding some extra description to her personal space would help build the character's profile, as it's part of who the character is.
Authors note; I love your creative cover, it fits your stories profile. I enjoyed the running of the storyline and keep up the good work.
I'd highly recommend this story!
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