ranty rant rant rant

broken hearts can be held together with blu tac

Have you ever felt completely and utterly suffocated mentally? Like, no matter what you do, something isn't quite right. There are some things in life that can't be fixed - some people are the way that they are and there is nothing you can do about it. I know someone who wants to fix everything - but some things are impossible to fix, and all we can do is get our minds off the big problem and keep going and getting through little problems that are fixable.

My heart breaks on behalf of other people - whether they are heartbroken or not. I see struggle in other people and as a result, my heart bleeds and suffers on their behalf. I know that my friend is in a very difficult situation and it has an adverse affect on her, but there is nothing that can be done to fix this situation, because it is about how the other person is as a person. The only solution for it is to forget about it for a while. My heart breaks for her and for my other friend who is trying to help her fix it, but he can't.

I named this section "broken hearts can be held together with blu tac" because whilst it's not completely healed, it's being held together and it's getting through. There might not be stitches or anything holding it together permanently but it's being held together and when the blu tac eventually loses its grip, someone will come along with sellotape and eventually, the heart will get stitches or whatever it needs and it will be held together and working.

It breaks my heart to see other's heart break, I've said this. I have been experiencing a lot of heartbreak, both my own and others, and I just got to thinking, what would I do if I couldn't be a support to those who are hurting? I don't know what I would do with myself? I want to help people. I think my need to help other people comes from a place of not understanding how things can get so bad and wanting to solve them. However, since I've been wanting to fix things my entire life, I have learnt that there are some things in life that you can't fix. You can't fix people's personalities or the way people speak to people: especially if they wouldn't listen to you or take what you have to say seriously.

This wasn't really that big of a rant - more of an exposure of feelings. I have cried too much in the past couple of weeks, and all I really need is someone to hug me, stroke my hair, and tell me everything will be okay. But what I have discovered is that if I don't have someone to do that for me, I have to do it for myself.