She only blinks her eyes and rarely moves them to look around. I grabbed her hand softly, and I heard the monitor go up slightly. I learned how to read her over the years. When she was tired, her heart rate got slower, when she was scared her heart rate was over her limit, and when I came to visit her and held her hand, it went up by a few beats and didn't lower until I left the room. 

I rubbed the back of her hand softly, " Hey mom.. " I knew she could hear me because her heart rate or blood pressure would also change if she heard something she did or didn't like. 

" I'm sorry I didn't visit earlier. I've had a lot more than usual on my mind... " I went silent for a bit, then I spoke again. 

" Dad is still trying to get me to come back home or get a job like his.. You know I won't go home without you.. and I-I'm still fighting even though you probably wouldn't want me to. " I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. Sometimes, I would be completely distressed and imagine her actually responding to me.

" ...I could try to find a new profession other than fighting, but I just get so angry sometimes, and it just becomes too much at some point. " I puffed as I felt a few tears fill my eyes. 

" ...I have a tournament on Friday, and I get seven grand if I win... It's not technically legal or an excellent way to earn money I know... but I'm still trying to cope ok? " I felt myself getting angrier as the tears slipped from my eyes. Feeling judged by someone who isn't saying a word or has any facial expression was normal for me in these cases.

" Dad keeps telling me that if I don't go into business with him soon, he's pulling the plug. I'm doing my best to save up, and it's not fucking working. The only reason I haven't wholly snapped yet is that I've been beating the shit out of people and- " I paused for a moment before wiping my tears away quickly.

" ...I met someone, a girl in particular. She's pretty and innocent, and.. I know you'll like her. " My lips came up to a small smirk before I continued.

" There's something about her that makes me feel somewhat.. overprotective. I feel as though I need to protect her, but I don't know from what... I could just be going insane. My sanity is getting lower each day, and I'm giving it a few months until it's all gone. " I checked my watch and saw that it was getting late. I looked up at her as I could never get used to seeing her like this.. I took a deep breath as I stared...  Just breathe... 

" I'll be back in a few days probably tomorrow if I feel like venting again, even if you don't want to listen, " I chuckled as I stood up and placed a small kiss on her forehead.

" Love you, mom. " I gave her hand one last squeeze before walking out of the room. I exited the hospital and walked over to my car. I got inside and received a message. Thinking it was Ingrid, I opened it quickly but rolled my eyes when I saw it was my father.

Bastard: Time is ticking son.. I hope you understand that I just want the best for you. I have a few job openings that you would fit in great with. Call me when you come to your senses. 

I left him on read and threw the phone onto the seat. Starting up the car, I clenched the steering wheel in my hands as a scowl was set permanently on my face.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

It was Friday morning, and I had a few hours to prepare for the fight. Now instead of just fighting three guys, it's five, and the prize increased to $15,000. What better way to get ready for a fight, than to run through the forest and think about how much I 'love' my life. Dressed in my grey hoodie again, black joggers and sneakers, if a person were looking through the trees and saw me running out of nowhere, I do not doubt that they'll think I'm a serial killer. Stopping by a tree after 2-3 miles straight, I got lost in my thoughts once again. 

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