Shrek x Woody *SHREXY*

~One~

Hippety
Hoppety
No minority's in my swamp.

Shrek reads the poem he's just written. There's something missing...

Just like there's something missing in his life.

Shrek is a famous poet, most widely known for his metaphor about onion layers. Lately he has been kind of irritable and hasn't been able to focus on his career, because he cannot find a boyfriend. I guess it's hard when you're gay and you live in a swamp far away from civilization.

He decides to check tinder.

One match! Oh boy, this never happens!

Shrek looks to see who it is.

Woody.

He has luscious brown hair and dreamy eyes. Shrek must come up with the perfect pick up line to get this man's attention.

He stairs blankly at the screen for a good hour or two. Finally he types:

"Damn boi are you my ogrey dong bc it sure is getting woody looking at your picture."

That'll be sure to get him. You can tell shrek is a poet. And a great poet indeed.

Shrek waits for a reply, looking at his phone intensely. He can hear his grandpa shronk's old clock ticking. Tocking.
Tic.
Toc.
Tic.
Toc.

Beep

Shrek almost knocks over his glass of chocolate cow sauce because he reaches for his phone so fast. Well, it's more of an iPad because his strong shrekky hands were too big for a normal phone.

Woody: that was smooth. Almost as smooth as my hairless ass ;)))

Shrek replies:

Tonight. My swamp. Come&cum amirite ;)

He has a good feeling in his stummy about this dreamy man.

He suddenly knows what's missing from his poem.

Hippety
Hoppety
No minorities in my swamp

He adds an "ity" to the end. Perfect.

Shrek wants no minorities.

Well, maybe a homo. They're a good minority.

Good.

Oh so good .