This Is Us! (#wattys 2019)

The office craziness part 2: Her majesty

The Author perspective:-

I returned to my office room after I had peed in my en suite bathroom and also peed a little in my pants (Or the elephant diaper as Luna loves to call them).

Yes! I peed in my pants and in case you're wondering why on earth would I do that, well let's just say I have highly incompetent bladder and it started leaking before I got in position, maybe I should check with my urologist, but I don't have one.

Eh! It's not a big deal, it's just some pee.

Anyhoo, as I proceeded to walk to my disk, a look of abject surprise accommodate my face when I saw Luna sitting on my Goddamn desk, she placed her hands behind her head and spread her legs on my desk, then she proceeded to lock her ankles on top of each other and started swaying them slowly while smiling at me.

''Forgive me your Majesty, I didn't mean to intrude into your sacrosanct place and plague you with my bold invasion'' I curtsied before the queen but my polite gesture was executed with flagrant sarcasm.

''Nonsense! The queen doesn't mind the unimaginative company of her poor subjects, they need her company for it's such a broad honour which poignant people like yourself desperately need in order to validate their self-worth'' She said matter-of-factly.

''Indeed'' I curtsied.

''Your queen is nothing if not grossly generous my dear-yet-still-plain-and-totally-insignificant-female-servant so I don't mind your flagrant intrusion'' She dismissed my entire existence with a derisive flick of her hand, as though she was waving off a fly unworthy of her majesty time.

''You're too kind your majesty'' I commended her, overt sarcasm was wrapping my voice and poise like a blanket but she seemed to be unaware of any of it, or rather apathetic.

''Come my servant, sit closer to me so I could look at your fugly face'' She quipped.

''Your witticism is an honour your majesty, but I'm afraid that I'm not befitting to be conferred upon such honour'' I injected my voice with as much calmness and composure as I could possibly manage.

I want to see for how long she would continue this '' Queen'' farce.

''Indeed, you're not befitting for such honour, but I took pity on you for you look raffish and bohemian, I always have a genial space in my myriad heart for unmindful bourgeois'' She said mirthfully, practically singing the words, her eyes were bright with content and self-assertion and her cheeks were furnished with a proud telltale flush that made them appear more peachy.

Fake titles and entitlement can do wonders to people.

''You're too kind your majesty'' I curtsied before the fake-bitchy-queen who soon is going to be the queen of dead, if she continued to throw insults at me.

''Indeed! Come my poor servant, your queen is commanding you to sit closer to her'' She beckoned to the empty space on my desk.

''I mustn't, I'm not befitting to sit with your majesty'' I courteously declined her 'command' as I did my best to feature a mortified and panic look to go with this silly charade.

''Indeed, but your queen is commanding you to sit and you're insulting me with your reluctance'' She asserted authoritatively and for a flicker of second I forgot that this whole thing is just a joke.

Well she's always been a royal bitch so I guess she was born for this part.

''I can hear the cogs whirring in your alleged brain, doubting whether or not to accept this honour, even though your queen herself command you to do so, I respect that, I respect the poignant commoner like you who knows their real self-worth thereby refrain from soaring closer to the sun so they won't turn into crisps, you people from the middle class always fascinate me, it's because of you people the ones that really matter who goes by the name of the queen who happens to be me, ergo I'm the only one that matter, can stay at the top'' She asserted with so much proud and self-claimed that I couldn't help but admire her if i wasn't too busy drowsing through the middle half of her protracted and redundant entitlement, but it was her velvety tone that kept me from legally falling asleep during her spurious statement, she has an English accent to die for, the one that makes you wet your pants and I don't mean to pee yourself, I mean the other kind of witting where your Marshmallow ooze out some slimy juice.