it imagines.

mike.

insults here,
insults there.
a brutal beat up at lunch,
and a kick in the back after school.
this was my daily routine.
everyday was the same.
i come to school,
do my best to learn what i could retain through half lidded eyes,
and become cornered by the brooding girls almost every hour of every day.
whatever self esteem has been salvaged is then destroyed by their words and fists.
though the words from greta hurt me today more than they'd ever before.
"that's why no one could love you. not even mike."
the words echoed in my head and made my ears ring.
tears formed in my eyes against my will,
which only fueled their taunting.
"awh look! she's crying!"
they all laughed at once.
"let's go."
richie appeared from what seemed to be thin air and pulled me away.
though the next few moments were a blur when i realized the truth:
mike couldn't possibly love me.
not when i was riddled with pain and insecurities.
"hello? y/n?"
richie waved his hand in front of my face,
bringing me back to reality.
the harsh reality i was forced to live in.
"you okay?"
"yeah, fine."
i nodded,
looking down so they couldn't see the tears begging to spill.
i couldn't cry.
not in front of the boys.
and especially not in front of mike.
the only time crying was acceptable was in the comfort of my own room where i could wipe away my tears by myself.
"well...mike said he wants to see you before we meet up. so, ride to his house and catch up with us later?"
i spoke through the swelling in my throat,
"yeah, for sure."
they all waved and sped off on their bikes,
leaving me behind in peace.
the only noise that filled the air were bird songs and the scraping of my feet against gravel.
i couldn't possibly go to mikes.
not right now.
i slowly began my trek home,
the words of the bullies echoing in my head.
does mike really love me like he says?
how could someone love such a flawed person?
i questioned myself before realizing:
they can't.
i sighed as i finally reached the house i called mine,
and noticed the note on the door.
my mothers scrawl laid on a yellow paper,
making me groan in ire.
"got called into work. stay at mikes tonight. i love you -mom"
i sighed as i ripped the paper off the door,
tearing into pieces to be stored at the bottom of my bag.
i then turned on my toes,
walking down the block to the one and only.
mikes.
it seemed to be some sort of divine timing that my mother conveniently left for work the day i needed to be home,
away from mike.
my thoughts were too deafening,
too hateful towards myself to face him right now.
i needed time to breathe,
but it seemed there was not enough air in the world to fill my lungs in this moment.
i finally approached the boys house,
i grew hesitant to even walk closer.
i just didn't want to face the fact mike didn't love me.
just like greta said.
but,
i could stay out all night.
so i knocked very softly,
but still loud enough for him to hear.
i rocked on my feet in anticipation,
flinching at the sudden widening of the door.
mike stood there,
beaming from ear to ear upon seeing me.
it seemed impossible that someone could stare at me with this much ardor and not be in love.
but then again,
there was no such thing as impossible.
"hey, angel! your mom said you were spending the night!
he greeted,
letting me in.
i gave him a soft smile as i slowly stepped in,
the warm vibes from his family hitting me almost instantly.
though it only made me feel worse;
i was wearing thin from feeling so awful.
"hey, y/n. nice to see you."
his grandfather smiled,
sitting on the flower patterned couch.
"hey, there. it's nice to see you too,"
i returned,
forcing a smile as wide as my lips would allow.
mike and i walked to his room where i sat on the edge of his bed,
crumbling with each passing second.
"okay, so i have all these movies for us to binge because we haven't had a movie night in forever. then i got-hey..."
he stopped,
stepping closer to me with a look of worry.
"what's wrong?"
i looked up at him with teary eyes,
my throat closing up at the sight of him.
so perfectly crafted,
practically kissed by god himself.
his hand molded around my cheek,
where the pad of his thumb caressed me.
"talk to me."
"greta said...she said you could never love me. and...i don't know. i haven't stopped thinking about it."
his loving eyes grew soft in sympathy for me,
but angry at the same time;
angry that i would believe such an absurd thing,
especially when his love for me consumed him as a being.
"there is nothing in this world that could equate to my love for you. you are on my mind every second of every day. hell, y/n, i don't feel at ease until i see you. you're everything i've prayed for and more. do not let greta get inside of your head. you are nothing she makes you out to be. you're so perfect for me, perfect as a whole."
he gave me a small hopeful smile to brighten my mood.
and my heart melted at the sight of it,
along with his loving words.
"oh, mike..i love you."
i spoke in a whisper,
giving him a wide smile.
"that's my girl,"
he cheered,
wrapping me into his arms.
i laid on his chest with content,
breathing him in.
it was a moment of vulnerability that i believed something so false;
mike and i were in love and there was no denying that.
that was the day i never believed greta again.
as long as i had mike,
everything else i faced seemed a bit easier.