Blackout

Original Edition: 26 | Vanish

He withdraws his hand, bringing it back to his side, his eyes cast downward. "I'm sorry, Alina," he murmurs. "They'll find them eventually."

I let out a warbled laugh, shaking my head. Eventually is not good enough. This needs to end now, or I'm going to completely lose my mind. I won't be satisfied until I see their faces on the other side of a prison cell.

My sadness begins to dissipate, freezing over until it becomes cold, hard fury. Even when they're backed into a corner, they refuse to give up and accept defeat, to finally put this all to rest and leave me be. Haven't they done enough damage? I'm broken because of them, and the physical and psychological trauma will never go away. Isn't that enough?

Mason pulls me in, tucking me to his chest, and I squeeze my eyes shut, clinging to him as if he's my only chance at survival.

✘✘✘

After several days of staying at home, I decide to make my return to school.

It feels ridiculous to be a sitting duck in my house while the police are busy searching for the three people who tried to kill me, and there's nothing to distract me when I'm trapped within the walls of my bedroom, nothing to keep me from tearing all my hair out. I need the routine and monotony of going to class to keep my mind occupied, despite Sofia's protests.

She insisted on giving me a ride to a school, but I protested, saying Mason could drive me instead, and he immediately agreed. I've unintentionally been shutting him out since last week, but it's not anything personal. I'm just finding it hard to talk to other people. Audrey returned from Vancouver as soon as she heard about what happened, claiming she won't be going back until all of this is resolved. It seems things like boyfriends and cheating are of little concern, when the alternative is a matter of life or death. She's been keeping me company, and I appreciate it, even if I'm not really speaking much at the moment.

Standing just outside of the front door, I wait for Mason to pick me up for school. I don't feel nervous about going back, despite the fact that word of what happened will have spread through the population like wildfire, and I'll be the center of attention once again. I'm used to it by now. At least everyone knows the truth. I suppose that's the silver lining to all of this—there are no more secrets.

The  ride to school is spent in silence, and I hate myself for it. I wish I could talk to Mason like normal, and we could go back to how we were a few days ago, but I just don't have the mental energy for it, and that knowledge makes me feel as though my heart is cracking in two.

When we arrive, Mason walks close enough to me that our arms brush. Pursing my lips together, I reach for his hand, taking it into my own. Words may have lost their usefulness for me at the moment, but actions speak louder anyway. He gives me a grateful smile, squeezing my hand as we make our way to the entrance, and the abnormality of the situation strikes me all at once. I've spent the last little while having to pretend Mason doesn't exist to me within these corridors, so it feels strange to be able to walk in with him so freely, and not worry about what other people think.

I only let go when we reach the English classroom, and we slide into our seats. As class begins, I'm unable to stop staring at Zoe's vacant seat, the girl stuck in my head as images of her flood through my mind like a twisted slide show. I see her laughing, her red-stained lips curling up into the sadistic smirk she constantly wears. I see her blue eyes wild and thirsty for blood, the glint of a blade reflecting off her teeth, her manicured hand circling around my throat.

Exhaling sharply, I push back, my chair scraping against the floor, and all eyes flicker in my direction. I swallow, looking up to acknowledge the scrutiny, and Mason has gone tense beside me, poising to get up from his seat if given the command. I try to speak, to apologize to Mr. Warren for disrupting his class, but my throat has closed up, my eyes unable to make sense of whether I'm in the dark forest or in the classroom.