SAVING MR. PARK | PJM

二十五

the last thing she wanted was for mr. park to discover the root of jungkook's motive.

yes, the boy had taken the initiative to defend her because he loved her. it was simple. but what good could possibly result from telling jimin about this? it wouldn't fix their situation in any sort of way.

then again, mr. park was her boyfriend, and he had asked for the truth. and in that moment, jay didn't have the necessary guts to lie.

"he," she paused to breathe, the sharp inhalation piercing her lungs. jimin rubbed his teeth together as he impatiently waited for her to continue. "he told me that he, uh, thinks he might b-be, um, in love with me."

mr. park nodded at the (predictable) news, sliding his tongue in between his lips and quirking up an eyebrow as he drowned in his thoughts.

"good to know," he choked out, peering back at the bright computer screen in front of him.

"but i don't love him, sexy," jay attempted to steer the topic back to her intended message. "i only love you, okay? i made sure that he fully understood that."

"you told him ... about us?" he closed his eyes in even greater disappointment.

wonderful, he internally huffed. that's the last thing i needed—for my own girlfriend to jeopardize everything we've worked so hard to protect.

"i didn't, i didn't," jay was quick to deny his assumption. "he found out on his own. he–"

"jay, just go to lunch already. i don't want to hear it. i really don't," he ran a frustrated hand through his blonde strands of hair and rose to his feet again. jay observed the way he rounded his desk and inched closer to her in a rather intimidating manner. "it's painful as it is to know that i can't publicly be with you the way i would love to be. that's why i'm upset. i am jealous of him, but not for the reason that you think. you grabbed his hand. so what? i trust you enough to know that that skin-to-skin contact meant nothing to you. it's the fact that you were able to touch him without other people finding it weird what broke me. see, i can't do that. i can't do this," he ruefully caressed her cheek as tears suffused in his eyes, "in front of others. i can't do anything in your favor, and it frustrates me. i can't kiss you, i can't embrace you, i can't love you—at least not publicly. i can't even exchange two words with you without it causing suspicion. you can do that with jungkook. you're able to be with him, and society would not spurn the idea of it. it's not frowned upon if you're with him.

"jungkook, he ... defended you in a way that i wasn't able to today. i wanted to so badly step in and beat that repulsive son of a bitch the way jungkook did, or maybe ten times more brutally, but i couldn't—because i'm a damn teacher. i felt useless. made me think that you'd be better off with someone else, someone who can lawfully defend you and be with you ... someone like jungkook."

"but i don't love him," jay reiterated, not understanding why he was thinking about this now. they'd been together for nearly four months. he should've figured out that their relationship wouldn't be easy. who said it'd be?

it was up to them to fight for its success! they couldn't just give up on it. they'd come too far along to let a bunch of silly insecurities and frustrations get in the way.

"he loves you," mr. park bitterly reminded her as he wiped away the tear that had slipped from her eye.

"but i don't love him!" she angrily shoved his chest. "what does it matter how he feels? i love you, and only you, you idiot. and y-you love me, too, right? that should be the only thing that matters."