I'm Not Okay [UsUk]

Something's Wrong

"Oh, my throat is just a bit dry, nothing important."

But Arthur didn't believe a word of that. "Are you sure? That's... Usually not how a person who has the common cold sounds like. It's okay to cry, you know! I wouldn't laugh or anything. You can tell me."

"It's alright, don't worry." Alfred forced a laugh, tightly clenching his phone in his hand out of frustration. Why on Earth did Arthur have to ask so many questions all the time?

"Honestly, I'm not so sure about that."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Alfred. Don't lie to me. Something's wrong."

- - -

That was it. Arthur wasn't just worried sick and out of his mind, but also insulted and mad because something was obviously awfully wrong in Alfred's current life, and he was hiding it from him! That's not something a couple does, or best friends do.

And while the American was trying to defend himself from the other side of the phone, almost in tears, the Brit was getting frustrated by every single word that came out of the other.

"Alfred, stop!"

So he went silent.

"Stop talking, alright?! Let me speak! Please, let me help you...! You don't have to tell me what's wrong. I understand, it might be something really personal or embarrassing, but if it's serious you have to tell somebody! An adult, a counselor... The school nurse can help. Listen to me. You're strong. You're brave. Most people go through a hard time in their lives, but you don't have to go through it alone! I'm here. I'll comfort you, tell you how wonderful you are and give you the best hugs I can. Just... Try to feel positive. At least a little bit. Okay?"

Arthur's voice was soft, caring, and it was everything that Alfred needed to hear. He didn't hear this kind of tone since his mother left this world, and it left him completely speechless.
Right after a complete mental breakdown, for the first time in forever he had comfort. A warm feeling settled somewhere deep within his body, and he stopped crying.

"...Thank you, thank you so much..." He said in an unsteady voice, his entire being lightly trembling.

"You don't need to thank me, Alfred. A big enough thank you to me is to see you happy."

And on a second, there was brightness.

- - -

A bit later after Alfred's and Arthur's phone call, once evening had fallen upon the dusty, old streets of London, Matthew and their father finally arrived at home, bringing three big shopping bags along with them.

The younger American placed one next to the kitchen counter, and headed directly to his and his brother's bedroom right after taking off his shoes.
Expecting to see Alfred in bed, just like he was before they left, he was pleasantly surprised to find his brother working.

"Hey, Al", he greeted him as he got in, "how come you're doing math?" Slightly amazed, he watched his brother deal with a really long math problem in less than a minute.

"Oh, well, I had my moment of enlightement." Alfred chuckled a little, still looking like a total mess tired out by life, but he didn't give up. Especially after the conversation he had just minutes earlier.

"You talked to Arthur, didn't 'ya?"

"...Yup."

"I see the isolation policy is working out well for you." Matthew teasingly laughed, but all in good manner. "Kidding."

"Yes, well that's a total load of crap anyway. I thought my life is one big isolation policy already."

Alfred, surprisingly even for him, felt alright. Definitely not stable, certainly not cheerful, but that numbing feeling of sorrow and emptiness was suddenly replaced by Arthur's kind and loving words, and all he could feel was the Brit's presence inside of his heart. He even had the strength to joke about his current state of being, which hadn't happened in months already.

"Anyway, I actually brought you a little something from the store. Took me ten minutes to figure out how to get it through without dad noticing, but here." As he said those words, the younger brother dug a small item out of his pocket, holding it out in the palm of his hand for the other to take.

"It's so cute!" Alfred genuinely smiled, taking the little object out of Matthew's hand and giving it a closer look.
It was a keychain - on one side it was painted as the Union Jack, and on the other side it had musical notes. "Thank you. It's perfect."

"Yes, well... I know you needed a cheer-up, and this is pretty small but... I'm glad you like it." Matthew shrugged his sholuders, loving to see his brother with an actual, wholehearted smile on his face. Alfred's happy moments became a rare occasion, and seeing him satisfied was wonderful. It made Matthew feel how there still might be hope for his older brother to find his old, cheerful, always friendly self - the confident Alfred Jones he knew all throughout his childhood. The boy who used to call himself 'the hero' and played piano without being in danger, the boy who made everyone's lives brighter just by his presence.

He was still there, inside.

They just needed to get him back before he completely breaks down.

And time was running out.