Amaru drove around all day looking for Damita. He had no idea where she had gone or if she was even alive. The day before had him afraid.
All the talk about hurting him and texting all their kids that she loved them before just disappearing. Even if she really didn't want to be with him anymore, he hoped that she was alive and at least well.
To no luck he drug himself back into the house and went back to the drawing board. He racked his brain "where could she have gone?" He asked himself.
He called everyone who he thought she could be with and nobody had seen or heard from her in weeks, but Ava.
All she could tell him was that she had been acting weird days before.
"My Baby."He sighed and rubbed his forehead looking at a picture of them that hung on the wall.
He smiled at the happy memory and went upstairs to their room to look for more clues.
As he walked around their room he noticed that Damita had left her phone on the counter. Her not taking it with her to wherever she went made him even more worried.
She was on her phone more than their kids sometimes and he knew that if she didn't take it something was really wrong. He unlocked it with his finger print and immediately went to her call log.
There had to be somebody she called to let them know what was going on in her mind. The number wasn't saved, so he called it to see who it was.
It was Dr.Williams. He hadn't even thought to call or visit her.
He grabbed his keys and was in the road once again to find out where his wife was.
On the way over he prayed that Damita was safe wherever she was and that they could work through whatever this bump was in their relationship.
Amaru jumped out of the car and ran into her office, bypassing the receptionist. Luckily she didn't have a client.
"Amaru?"Dr.Williams raised her eyebrows. She was very surprised to see him.
"I need to talk to you."Amaru sighed and sat down on her couch.
Dr.Williams grabbed her clipboard and her pen. "Go ahead."
"It's about Damita. I'm worried about her."Amaru sighed and put his head in his hands.
"She's been a bit off since she lost the the baby. Not affectionate, irritable, depressed. I tried to help in the best I could, by taking care of her and being there. She started staying out late and drinking more. We were arguing and all of sudden she comes home and tells me that she doesn't want to be married anymore. Then this morning she disappears, leaves her phone and tells all the kids she loves them. I'm so worried and confused. I just hope she's alright."Amaru explained almost on the verge of tears. He felt like he started to get the feeling of how she felt 15 years ago when he left. If he lost her, that'd be the end of him. She was everything to him.
"Well, I do know that on those nights when she was coming home late..she was here. Talking to me."Dr.Williams explained. "Before we get into what we talked about, I have a few questions for you."
"Ok."Amaru replied, letting her know that he was okay with any questions that he had.
"You're not really aware of your wife's condition are you?"Dr.Williams asked in a puzzled tone.
"Condition?"Amaru raised his eyebrows. "How come everybody keeps saying that?"
"Amaru..Damita has bipolar depression. She's had it since was about 14. I have no idea where it came from or where it started because I wasn't her therapist then. But, it doesn't surprise me that you don't know about it."Dr.Williams explained.
"How could I not? We've been together for so long, how could not pay attention."Amaru sighed, becoming worried.
"That's the thing. There are two different stages of this condition. Mania and Hypomania. Damita's has a hypomania which means her condition is mild but can be severe from trauma or fear. It can often go away for long periods of time."Dr.Williams explained.
"How could I not know though. She's my wife! I know her like the back of my hand. How could I miss this?"Amaru raised his voice.
"I'm going to get into that."She answered.
"The reason why this information may be new to you is because in her mind, you're her safe place, you're her protector. In her mind you're like her shield from all of her "demons" as she calls them. Hypo maniacs are able to engage in activities or relationships that can make them forget about their condition completely."She explained and Amaru was stunned. The information surprised him.
"Most of her "demons" come to get in her during sleep, which is why she asks you to hold her at night. She thinks that when you're holding her you can protect her from those dreams. So her being sad and not sleeping on you because she was sad must've brought something up. Something in her mind is bothering her and it's making her not want to be close to you. "She continued. "You two haven't been having sex either have you?"He asked.
"No, we hadn't got around to it. We had a couple distractions before she got pregnant and then she was on bed rest. I wanted to be safe. So it's been about two months, but what does that have to do with anything?"He asked, confused.
"See, that's another thing that she kind of uses to get over the things going on in her mind. To her, sex with you is equivalent to taking her medicine. So as long as you were around she wasn't having any problems. Now, she can't control it, losing the baby has brought out something in her mind that's making her push you away. Pushing you away has caused her to have an episode."Dr.Anderson explained making Amaru's eyes widened. All the while he had thought that he just made her into some kind of freak, maybe he did but now he knew why it meant so much to her when she didn't get it. It all made sense now.
That was why she cried every time. She felt that all the evil was being cleansed from her body and he was saving her. Not only did sex make het feel better but it was kind of like her escapism.
"We've went without sex lots of times though and she didn't act like this."Amaru replied, questioning what she had said.
"Right, but at those times she wasn't depressed was she? Loving you has made her so happy that her condition had almost suppressed itself, but traumatic things like losing a baby, losing a family member or anything else of that nature could make it flare up. Does that make sense?"Dr.Williams asked. "It's all in her head. You just have to get to her and get her back into feeling that love and appreciation that she usually feels from you. Also, don't bring up the baby. Don't mind her saying that she doesn't want to be married anymore. She will say things like that because she probably feels like she's protecting you from whatever is going on in her head."
"I don't know where she is though."Amaru sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"Here, I'm going to write down the addresses of the most private facilities in the city. She's most likely to be at one of these, that's what she called me for this morning. I'll call them and say she's okay to leave if you need me to, but you shouldn't have any problems because you're her husband."She instructed.
"Thank you so much."Amaru sighed and hugged Dr.Williams. That took her by surprise, but she knew that she had helped the man out a great deal.
"You're welcome, now go get your wife."She smiled and he ran out of her office.
