Fire Tears

3.

I sprawled out in the grass with my backpack. First thing I did was take another shot of vodka. The voices were at the back of my head now. I opened the little bottle, popping a couple pills in my mouth. How many I didn't bother counting, only making sure there were enough. I washed them down with a chug of Jack Daniels, grimacing slightly at the taste. 

The stars were lovely that night, and I watched them quietly, lying in the grass. I suddenly sat up with the feeling of someone watching me, yet there was not a living being in sight. I stood up and walked to the edge of the cliff. Dark waters crashed on the shores below.

 I spread out my arms and took a step closer to the edge, feeling the wind run through my body. The waves beckoned for me to join them. I gazed into the distance where I could spot my whole town, a cluster of lights from where I stood. I thought about the waters below, about the cool, cold caressing way they'd wrap around my skin. I was so tempted to just let go and fling myself off the cliff.

I thought about my family, about joining them forever. I remembered Abby's words, "Always go out with a bang," smiling to myself. Jumping off a cliff..well..that wasn't exactly a big bang. She always used to call me stubborn, saying I was a fighter and I never gave up. It was true, in a sense. I always fought for what I believed in, and never gave up when small obstacles came my way. I knew I was pretty strong, psychologically and emotionally, and could deal with things easily. 

If Abby was with me, she would've told me to go home. I backed away from the cliff. I noticed a couple of small lights a bit off from where I was standing. I heard something from the same direction. Maybe bugs, I thought to myself. Possibly fireflies. 

I headed back to my truck, gathering my stuff. I couldn't see too well because of how dark it was and how much I drank, and ended up stumbling on some tree branches. I grabbed a hold of the side of my truck, breathing hard and trying my best to stay stable. I kept my bottle close by, and took two more pills, feeling my body relax.  After one more drink of vodka, I headed home. 

I put my seat belt on and turned on my phone, plugging it into my speakers. One new voicemail. I frowned to myself. "WHERE ARE YOU?!" It was my aunt. "Do you know how worried I am? Don't do anything stupid. I repeat. Don't! Think about how much you might be throwing away. Come home ASAP Wyatt!! Be safe, come home, I love you."  I clicked off my phone, pressing down a little harder on the gas. I didn't want to worry her. I don't know how she had figured out I wasn't home and why she was so worried, but I wanted to get home quick and tell her it was okay. As much as my aunt drove me crazy sometimes with all her obsessive questioning, she was still my aunt and I still loved her very much. I thought about calling her, but stopped, deciding she would only question me more. 

I eased slowly on the gas, trying my best to keep my concentration up. My vision was a little off. I think I drank a bit too much, because I felt out of control. Nonetheless, I still sped up, wanting to get back to my aunt. I watched the speedometer closely. 60. 70. 80. 85. 90. The highway was pretty empty, so I wasn't too worried. I could always slow down, right? The car felt like it swerved a little. There were some headlights coming my way from the other lane. 

“Wyatt.." Someone whispered in my ear.

"Who's there?!" I screamed out. 

"Oh c'mon Wyaaattt.. Don't you still remember me..?" It was Abby's voice. 

"Wyatt. Why did you do this?" my mom asked as casually as if she were asking me to make my bed. "You killed us Wyaaattt!!!"

Something stabbed me in the side of my head. I screamed, taking one hand off the wheel. Someone honked at me, and I swerved back into my lane. 

"Fuck!" I panicked to myself. I had come extremely close to wrecking into another car and possibly killing more people. I looked behind me, making sure I was clear. 

I turned back around, and saw another car coming straight at me. It got closer, and soon I realized the car was coming down my lane. I hit my horn and slammed on the brakes. Going ninety miles an hour, I couldn't seem to slow down. The car got closer. I stepped on my brakes as hard as I could, to no avail. 

Then before I knew it, my windows were shattered and the car was flipping. I couldn't remember if I had my seat belt on or not, but I hope I did. Parts of my car were coming off, and then I hit the ground with a crunch. Something exploded, and I tried my best to keep my arms around my head. There was blood running down my neck, and lights were flashing around me. I was on my back, my face against the ground. 

As bad as the situation was, I felt like laughing. If this was truly the end of me, this was sure as heck a shitty way to die.  Then again, a little while back I was about to hurl myself off a cliff. At least I had the glory of saying it wasn't my fault I died. I smiled to myself, I was still just as stubborn as Abby had deemed me. This would be a good way to go. See you all in heaven..if I manage to pass the entrance test.