Pretend

Chapter 1 - Party Time!

It's funny that whenever people talk about love they always talk about the butterflies, the excitement and the happy feelings that you get. Nobody ever explains what happens when that love comes to an end. Nobody ever tells you about the gap in your heart that you literally feel growing as that person is taken away from you. No one tells you about the ache that encompasses the pit of your stomach, causing you to curl up into a ball. No one tells you that your eyes will begin to burn as the tears leak down your warm cheeks. No one ever explains the blocked nose or headache that you will get from crying all night. No one ever tells you that at some point you will cry yourself to sleep, immersing yourself in darkness, until once again your eyes will snap open, bringing you back to a painful reality.

No one ever tells you any of this.

****

6 WEEKS LATER

"Look, April it's been six weeks now, you've got to snap out of this".

As harsh as Crystal's words seemed, I knew that she was right. I knew that she only cared about me but I just wasn't ready. Every thing still reminded me of Kyle. Every song, every film, even my own room, I hated it. I wanted to wipe my mind free, erase him, but it was impossible.

"I know," I quietly mumbled down the receiver.

"Good, so you'll come?"

"I never said that," I quickly replied as a feeling of anxiety caused my chest to tighten. Facing Crystal was one thing but a whole crowd of people was another. Now that the summer was drawing to an end I would have to go back to school and face all of the questions. I had been preparing for that but a room full of wild, carefree teenagers, I wasn't prepared for, not yet.

"April, it's my sixteenth birthday and you're my best friend, it will ruin my entire night if you're not there!"

"Ok," I finally gave in, I knew that she was right. Me and Crystal did literally everything together, to miss her party would be the ultimate friendship sin.

"Yes! This is going to be the best night ever! I love you, love you, love you!" She screamed down the other end of the phone. I moved the phone a couple of inches from my face, preventing any chance of losing my hearing.

"Ok, be ready for seven, I'll get my brother to pick you up! Eeeeek, I'm so excited!" She finally screamed before putting the phone down. Great, I thought to myself as I stared at the reflection in front of me.

The eyes that stared back at me were still sad. I thought that I'd be over Kyle by now but it was easier said than done. I wasn't 100% comfortable about going tonight. The idea of having everyone staring at me was not a particularly welcoming thought. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a knock at my door.

"Come in".

"Hey honey," my mom said as she headed towards me.

"Look, I don't want to pressure you sweetie but you're young, you should be out having fun. I know that Kyle hurt you but it's no reason to stop living your life," she said as she gazed sympathetically into my eyes. She had obviously caught part of my phone conversation.

Crystal could never understand how I could tell my mom so much, most teenagers would cringe at the idea of their mom even mentioning the word boy to them. I liked it though, it made me happy and she was always so gentle in her approach.

"I'm going to Crystal's party tonight," I replied as I forced a smile onto my face.

"Oh, well that's great," she replied with a surprised look on her face.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Well that's lovely sweetheart, I'm glad to see that you're having fun again. Do you need a lift there?"