The Misadventures of Animate Inanimate Objects

Prologue  

Hands... Why, why the hell do I have hands? Dark brown eyes blinked slowly as the question came into a woman's mind; her face twisting into a frown as she reached up to touch the tight curls of her pitch black hair. Hair too... What's going on? Slowly and shakily, the girl did her best to stand up; her frown turning into a grimace of concentration as she worked her legs for, literally, the very first time.  

Slowly, as if she was a toddler just learning how to walk, the woman did her best to find a mirror in the house she had found herself sitting in; just to see what the hell was happening. After all, just the night before, she was an unfeeling pile of tapes. The girl finally found a mirror, leaning on something for support as she stared in astonishment. A dark skinned, long legged, slightly thick girl was staring back at her; her pale lips contrasting with the rest of her skin tone as she stood there, naked, with her mouth agape. This isn't possible, there is no way this is possible; is this possible? Just kidding, because no it's fucking NOT.  

"I was a stack of tapes." She murmured, shaking her head quickly. "No, no, no, no! I was a stack of tapes." The girl clutched her head, tearing her eyes away from the mirror as she tried to find somewhere to peacefully sit down and process the information. Leather crackled as she plopped down on a chair, her head between her legs as she did her best to figure out what happened. I was invented a couple days ago, I know that, and the guy... He uh... I dunno I don't remember; he did something. Then I woke up here. Okay, okay, don't freak out girlie. Calm down; breathe, slowly. Good, good.  

After taking a couple deep breaths, marveling at her new ability to do so, the woman felt much better; even though her head was absolutely pounding. She tried her best to shake it off, wobbly standing up as she went to search for... Whatever they called the things people wore to cover up their bodies. She wasn't really sure, she just knew innately that walking around naked was probably not the best idea now that she was human. Human. It was a new concept, a new world; and she found it very, very odd. She's barely been a stack of tapes, let alone an actual human. The newly animate object made her way to a bedroom cautiously; going through the drawers and closets to find clothes she could throw on. Most of them kind of fit her, and if they didn't; well, the woman made it fit. Don't humans have names? Does that mean that I should have one too? Hmm... I suppose it does, yet what is in a name? The girl pursed her lips, slipping on a pair of boots and wandering about the seemingly empty house, doing her best to get a handle on the whole walking thing.  

"Tapes, I think that fits just alright; considering," Tapes nodded her head slightly, her curls bouncing along with her as she bit her lip. "I mean, I'm sure humans have weirder names!" She murmured, pulling at her curls as she spun around to inspect her surroundings. Where was she? It seemed like a peaceful; empty house. Yet, Tapes couldn't help but wonder why it was so well furnished.  

Oh. That's why. Blood rushed to the woman's face as she dove for an exit; quickly picking up the hem of her dress and bolting for the back door; just as another door creaked open at the front of the house.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The first thing his mind registered was that he hurt, a lot, and all over. The second things was that it was bright and he was not happy about that fact. Groaning and rolling over, it took a minute of lying face down in the soft dirt to come to his third conclusion, which hit him as he rolled over for a second time. 

What the fuck, I'm human. 

Blue eyes shot open before immediately closing again, still displeased with the harsh Alabaman sunlight bearing down from high above. Slowly, he wiggled each one of his new appendages, starting with his fingers and toes before working his way through his bare body, ending with a deep breath.