Sally can wait

stars that shiiine

June 1997

Two months had passed since the incident. Liam was doing better but he was trying his hardest to move on. He goes to nights out and award nights acting like normal Liam. The Liam that gets pissed and high and party's, he acts like he didn't almost die less than two months ago and i think thats whats scaring me the most.

I moved back to london for his sake, I was staying in the spare room now, i was only here to help Liam however on those bad night, the nights that scare me the most, when he wakes up screaming from a nightmare, the nights he pushes me away because he trys to hide his tears. Those are the nights i hold him closest.

He told one night about them, its not flashbacks, its flash forwards. He sees Lennon and Flo grow up without a dad, he sees me and his family living without him and it scares him.

I can tell they scare him but Liam, he wears his heart on his sleeve until he lets you in then he hides himself away and smiles when deep down hes dying inside.

Co existing with Liam was easy, it was natural, he had gotten past the fact i might not ever want us to be together again and I've gotten by the denial that im never going to love him again because i had always loved him.

Mornings were the best, especially after his episodes. I would get up and get the Lennon up for school while Liam got Florance and started on breakfast. Then i would go for a shower, Liam would feed them and get them dressed for the day.

After I'm out the shower he goes for one while im packing Lennons lunch and pottering around, Liam comes out the shower, and does Lennons hair since its a crime for me to do it. Liam will drop lennon off at school while i take Flo to day care.

After many arguments and talk Liam got me a job. I wanted to do it on my own but he insisted he helped out. I was working at a small photography studio just across from Flos Care school.

Liams been doing a lot of shoots there for Be Here Now, the name of there new album. I only work a few days to make sure i have my own cash. I get payed well tho.

"Sally aint you seen me sunglasses?" Liam asked. I looked around but couldn't see then i looked up at him and rolled my eyes.

"Liam there on your head" i pointed out. He felt and then smiled. We both looked at eachother and burst into laughter.

"This is actually madness" he said. Sometimes Liam did that, just strung out words that had no meaning when put together.

"How could you not see them things?" I asked. He shrugged. Pulling them down and putting them on. He had a haircut, i didnt know how i felt about it. He was practically buld. Him and Noel, well, noel was buld and Meg was fumming.

It was little things that made me remember i didnt have the right to these things, not liking his haircut wasn't up to me because we were not together. He was just a friend now. He hadn't acted on it. He doesn't go out like he used to, he doesn't treat me any diffrent but he respects my choice.

Things had been tough, its been hard watching him walk around the house in some sort of daze, but its nice to see him smile again.

"Hay, what are you doing next weekend?" Liam asked, running his hand through his hair. I hesitated a little.

"I dont think im working" i said. Liam nodded.

"We should go out, do something together, as mates i mean" he said. I smiled, we hadn't spent actual time together in ages. I nodded.

"Yeah, yeah that sounds nice" i said. Liam smiled back and then nodded again.

"We could get me mam to watch the kids" he said.