Sally can wait

come back to me

January 1997

Christmas came and went for me while the kids were with Liam. He hadn't seen them since i left and he deserved too see them. I was in glasgow again right now living in accommodation. Liam tried to get me to come home every time he saw me. He came up every weekend too spend the day with them.

He was on his way with the kids now. Spending Christmas alone was strange but it was my own fault. Liam begged me to go with him but i wasnt going to be that girl. The one that stayed with the partner because i wasnt strong enough to be alone.

I missed liam and i knew this wasn't going to be easy but being with him was harder than being away from him in a strange way. I was so starstruck by him that i let him hurt me every time no matter what he did because i felt like that was all i was worth.

I had been messed around my whole life by men and family and although i put on this brave face i always felt like i wasn't enough. Its been years since i last seen my mum, i dont even think she knows i have a second child. The only way she would know is id the Italian press reported it.

Liam had phoned and said he was at central station in Glasgow and wanted to go out for some lunch. I decided being civil enough for the kids was a good idea.

"Mummy" lennon shouted as he seen me get off the bus. He ran up to me hugging me full force, he almost send me flying. I ruffled his long sandy blond hair. It was turning a dark brown colour now just like his dad. "Mum i missed you" he said holding me. I smiled.

"Missed you too kiddo, did you have a nice time with dad?" I asked.

"And gran, uncle Noel, uncle paul and auntie Meg" he said exitedly. I smiled.

"He wanted to leave some of his toys at home but hes got some things home with him. Flo has all her clothes in her bag coz i know shes growing fast an that so i just thought she might as well get the use out of 'em." He said i nodded.

"Thanks" i said. We walked down the road looking for a pub to have lunch in. We went into the small pub outside the station. Me holding Lennons hand and Liam pushing Florance in her pram.

"What did you do for christmas then?" Liam asked. Guilt dripling out his voice.

"I went to Jamies and had dinner with her" technically i did, just not on Christmas day. I meet up with her a few times since i moved back. I missed her. She was my best friend for so long and i felt like i abandoned her.

"Me mams been missing ya, she spent the whole day in a mood with us." He said sadly. I sighed.

"Im going to go see her soon, I've just been busy lately looking for a job and that." I sighed. Liam didnt just sound sad. He looked it too, we were both a mess. My hair was a mess, he looked like he ain't shaved in like a month. Still his beard sort of suited him. It made him look older, very John Lennon like.

"Look if you need cash i can sort you out. Im here to look after ya" he said. I shook my head as we walked in the pub.

I stayed quiet till Liam had found us a corner and parked up the pram as i took Lennon to sit down.

"Liam we spoke about this, i cant take your money" i said. I hated him thinking i couldnt do it on my own. I did it for long enough on my own.

"Why did you come back up here? Why couldnt you have just stayed in the house in manc?" Liam asked. "You aint even got an house up here, you're alone up here and i hate it." He said, i looked away, unable to look into his eyes. I wasnt going to be bullied out of this.

"Liam we need time apart right now, you need to sort your shit out before we even go there." I said already regretting lunch.

"Sal, how can we sort this shit out with you you here? I want you and the kids home" he said. I scoffed.