Sally can wait

rum and coke

May 1996

My birthday was coming up, i was almost turning the grand age of 24, woopee. I wasnt feeling it. To be honest i didn't feel much. I felt like the world had kept moving and i was stuck on the past. I was slowly breaking down those walls to moving on but life was getting, it was getting too much to handle.

I wasnt suicidal, i wasnt depressed i was just, sad. I was aloud to be sad. Liam was seaking around and i hadn't failed to notice. Noel was worried about him and i was too. He was loosing weight and rapidly, he wasnt home and spent late nights out drinking. He wouldn't come home for hours when he poped out for small things like baby milk.

I knew what it was and it was just time before it happened. He was having an affair woth some lass. That had to be it. All the sneaking around, the drinking, how high he was all the time. I was too tired to shout or argue with him, when he was home he was spending all his time with Lennon and Flo.

Florence was 7 weeks old now and she was already growing fast. She was beautiful and looked alot like Liam and me. I could tell liam was on love with her, he also made effort to take Lennon out too, doing whatever he wanted to do.

I waited for him to come home, again Lennon was at school and Flo was sleeping upstairs. He final came in from dropl6ing Lennon off. He smiled lazily at me.

"Hay babe" he said walking by me and i to the kitchen.

"Can, can we talk please" i asked scared, he had been on edge lately, i was more timid around him.

"Whats up?" He asked.

"Im, whats going on?" I said, he took out some food then looked at me.

"The fuck do you mean whats going on?" He said still getting things ready for breakfast.

"Liam, you just seam, distant, like you're out all the time and i just, i want to know what you're up too"

"Im not up to anything why?" He asked. Here we go again.

"Liam talk to me" i said walking up to him.

"A dont know what you're talking about Sally." He said, acting strange was one thing but this, this took the cake.

"talk to me for fuck sake" i said.

"ABOUT WHAT?" he shouted slamming things on the counter.

"Dont shout, Flo's sleeping" i said jumping myself at his short temper.

"Just drop it Sally, nothings going on, im just enjoying my time off" he said rubbing his head.

"You're actually lying to me, to my face," i said calling his bluff. He just sighed and walked by me.

"Where are you going" i asked.

"To the pub" he sais as he walked out doing his signature door slam.

At this point u wasnt surprised he walked out. He always did run from his problems, it was a second before i heard Flo crying and immediately forgot about him as i went to settle her.

###

I had gotten Flo ready and was walking downt the street with her in her large silver cross pram, the paparazzi were at a minimum for a change, one of them even helped me down the steps with the pram.

I fucking hated the paparazzi, they swarmed the house like vultures waiting for someone to leave or show up. It made me mad that we had no privacy. They snapped a few shots of me as i walked down the road to the shop. I stopped in my tracks seeing Liam walk up the road. His noes was bursed open and he was cursing the whole way.

"LIAM WHAT THE FUCK" i shouted.

"DONT SHOUT AT ME IT WAS ONE OF THEM CUNTS DOWN THE PUB" he shouted back. I just sighed and strutted away.

"YEAH IM FUCKING FINE BABE, DONT YOU WORRY" he said as i walked away. Willing the anger inside me to settle down before i slapped the shit out of him.

I walked down the side path and into the shop. Juat my luck to bump into another Gallagher "Sally whats up with you?" Noel asked.

"Didnt you see your knob'ead of a brother walking past?" I asked. Noel shook his head.

"Dont worry im sure it will be in a paper tomorrow then" i sighed. Noel looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

"Sally, are you ok?" He asked. I looked at him and nodded.

"Im just waiting for him to drop the bomb that he's over me Noel, hes sneeking around all the time, hes a total idiot" i said. Noel shook his head.

"Just slap him around abit and sort him out yeah. He dont deserve you anyway Sally." Noel said sighing. I felt like slapping Noel, he cant tell me that, that would be an option. It clearly wasnt.

"Someones beat me too it" i explained as i picked some things i needed up.

"So, maybe he deserved it" Noel said fussing over Florance.

"Hes piss drunk at half 1 in the day noel and its not the only time hes done it, im sick of him and his shit attatude towards me, he helps out with the kids in the morning, fucks off all day and comes home wercked that night." I sighed walking up to the counter. Paid for my things and left.

"I've tried talking to him about it Sal, its our Kid though, he thinks hes fucking god or summit." He told me, taking a bag from me.

"He makes me want to give all this up Noel, go back to how it was before all of this happened, just me and Lennon" i sighed watching Flo sleep in the pram.

"Well thats not how it is now is it?" He said. I knew he was right.

"I just feel trapped, its shit" i said as Noel grabbed the bottom of the pram and helped me up the steps completely ignoring the people in my way.

###

"Shes right Li, you need to stop this, whats gotten into ya?" Noel asked his little brother. I stood away from then craddeling Flo in my arms.

"Look i aint a kid yeah, i can do what i want" he said in the most child like way.

"Liam you have responsibilitys not just a band but a family too man, you gotta stop acting like a dick'ead and do whats right by them" Noel said pointing to me.

"Dont you think i know that?" He said sadly. I was taken aback by how child like he said it.

"Liam you dont talk to me, and when i try to get you to talk you storm off, how can we fix things that you dont want to fix." I said before sitting Flo in her small cot in the living room.

"Because theres nothing to fix" he said. I sighed.

"Fine, then im going for a sleep since i was up all night woth Florance, why dont you look after her since nothings fucking wrong with us yeah" i said storming up the stairs to my bed.

I didnt know what liam was up too. He was scaring the shit out of me and fuck knows what hes doing to his Mam and Noel. I just wanted him to talk to me and tell me what he was up too. I knew it was wrong of me to accuse him of cheating again but what else would he be up to? I blocked out the mutterings from down stairs and lay in bed trying to sleep another day away hoping all my problems would be solved by the time i woke up.