Dedication here goes to maia822 because she encouraged me to post my stories. Thanks :)
(2 years later):
I woke up to the sound of the waves crashing against the beach and smiled. It didn’t seem like it had been nearly two years since I had almost successfully ended my life. The reason behind it even seemed like a dull memory even though I still felt a pang of heart ache when I thought about him. Suddenly, I heard a knock on the balcony door and I could hear Natalie yelling for me to open the door. I got up, not bothering to pull my robe around me, stretched and rubbed my eyes while stifling a yawn. I lazily walked over to the door and unlatched it so that my best friend could come in. She was already dressed and had an excited grin on her face.
“Come on sleepy head! Get dressed! We’re going shopping for tonight!”
“No, Nat. I’m not going. There’s really no point. You know I don’t like getting all dolled up for those things,” I replied to her flatly. I am the type of person who is always fond of a good shopping spree, but I just do not appreciate the discomfort of being in a party dress for God knows how long.
“Well, you don’t have a choice. Nicolas’s brother needed a date, and Nic auto-invited you and he accepted, so suck it up girlfriend,” Nat proclaimed unsympathetically. I loved her to death, but she was just overly pushy at times. I breathed out a deep sigh and sat down on the couch. I was beginning to regret the fact that I had agreed to this semi-permanent living arrangement with her. I mean, sure, I had my own condo, but she freely came and went whenever she wanted, and I felt like the third wheel more often than not. Everything we did together almost always had to include Nic. Nic was a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just that I would rather spend time with Natalie alone sometimes so that we could just talk.
As if she read my mind Nat spoke almost as if she was singing, “Don’t worry. Nic is busy with his dad making sure that all of the celebrities’ accommodations are complete, so it’s just me and you, sis.”
I smiled and I actually started feeling excited about our little outing. I stood and walked over to my closet and grabbed a pair of boot-cut jeans and a turquoise off-the-shoulder tee. I showered and was dressed with hair and make-up perfected in 20 minutes and Nat and I set off towards her car.
We drove into Tampa and found our way to the mall. We had been there so many times that it took us little time to get there anymore. Once we were there, Nat squealed at me with excitement as we walked in and took in the sight of all of the stores that we shopped in the most. We shopped for our dresses for the party and I eventually decided to buy a white knee-length A-line dress that was accented with a burgundy colored satin bow. It complimented the lightness of my skin and went well with the color of my hair. It was also very simplistic and not too showy which was the exact opposite of Nat’s final choice. She decided on a reddish-orange dress that was more than slightly higher than my knee-length one and was embellished with rhinestones and feathers on the skirt. It looked amazing on her, but it was definitely something that I would not be able to feel comfortable wearing myself. We headed out towards the food court after we purchased our dresses with smiles on our faces feeling satisfied with our choices.
Once we got to the food court, I saw Nat’s face light up as she saw all of the various types of restaurants. I knew she was going to head for the Japanese food. Nat indulged in peanut chicken whenever we made our trips to the mall. I scowled in disgust and as she set off towards that direction, I made my way towards McDonalds.
As I waited in line, I debated whether or not I wanted the grilled chicken or the crispy chicken for my meal. It wasn’t like I always watched the way I ate. I was at a healthy weight, so I didn’t really pay it any mind if I ate things that weren’t the healthiest sometimes. I just had gotten used to eating slightly healthier when I was with Drayahn because he had helped me train and I had lost 30 pounds with his help. I must have been deep in thought about my choice, because when I snapped out of it, I noticed the lady on the other side of the counter was staring at me rather impatiently. I was about to step up to the counter when I was rudely pushed aside by someone. I looked up after I had steadied myself and saw the person who had pushed me.
“Excuse me,” I said impatient now myself, “I think I was next in line.”
“I think “was” is the key word in that sentence, bitch. You took too long and I was tired of waiting.”
“What did you want, baby?” I heard the platinum blonde Barbie bitch coo towards the man that had just walked up to her and placed his arm around her waist. I cleared my throat and the blonde and the man that she was with both looked over at me. My heart literally felt like it was dropping right out of my chest. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The man who had broken my heart and deserted me in the time I had needed him the most was standing right in front of me holding onto a girl who was so opposite of what I had ever thought Drayahn would be interested in. I could see the recognition in his eyes as they travelled from my face to my body and then down to my feet before making their way back up to my face again.
I didn’t want him to know how seeing him again after all of this time was effecting me because honestly, I didn’t want it to be effecting me like it was. I was mad at the fact that I was still hurt after all this time.
I smiled and looked back at the blonde bitch staring at me with daggers in her eyes and said, “It’s okay, Barbie, you can have your spot. I’m going to go delight myself in something that won’t be my whole calorie intake for the day.” I only briefly glanced back at Drayahn before I turned and walked off towards Subway.
I ordered my sandwich and turned to look on the level below to find Natalie. I found her sitting at a table with a couple of girls that I recognized and I turned to head towards the escalator with my tray in my hands. As I passed back by the McDonald’s I saw Drayahn watching me out of the corner of my eyes and I felt my heart skip a beat. I made sure not to acknowledge the fact that I knew he was looking and I made my way down the escalator and over to the table where Natalie was sitting with the other girls.
Another hour and a half later and we were on our way to get a mani/pedi and a facial. It felt so wonderful to be pampered like that. I even fell asleep during my pedicure. I smiled thinking about how I had walked away from Drayahn which let me know just how much stronger I had gotten since that night. That night that I had almost let my guilt and misery end my life. The ironic part about it was that the very person who had given me the pills had been the one to make the choice so quick that saved my life. Up until I realized that, I had hated Tyrone for introducing me to that lifestyle that I had gotten sucked into like a whirlwind. I blamed him for Drayahn walking away. I blamed him because if he had never introduced me to the pills I wouldn’t have called him that day and he wouldn’t have been there when Drayahn came home. Drayahn had walked in on Tyrone attempting to force himself on me, and although I was able to keep him from going much further, he had managed to get my shirt off and my shorts unbuttoned. I knew that it appeared as less than a struggle to Drayahn. That next day he found the bottle of pills and had flushed them down the toilet before leaving me standing in the middle of my apartment broken and in need of help.
I shook my head when I looked over at Nat who had been calling me. I felt a tickle on my cheek and realized that I had been crying.
“Are you okay, Chels?” she asked out of concern. “I hope you aren’t thinking about that again…,” she said with a knowing look on her face. I answered by nodding my head and wiping my face. It was getting late and I knew that if we were going to be ready for the party that we were going to need to get going.
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