Ellie Mae

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Kensi, Callen and Sam sat in the bullpen waiting for him to come out, "Are you sure he's coming out?" Sam asked.

Kensi nodded, "Any second now." She said and looked in the direction of the shower; the others had changed and had been waiting ten minutes. However, there was still no sign of Deeks.

"I'm going in." Kensi said and walked towards the bathroom.

"NO!" Sam said shocked, "Kenz it's the men's room."

"I'll go," Callen said as he walked past her and into the room.

Deeks was sitting on the floor his head between his knees and was hyperventilating.

Callen quietly sat next to him and waited as he got his breathing under control. "You done?" he asked.

Deeks sat focused on a solitary point on the floor. "I don't know what happened I just felt dizzy, I just need a moment and then I'll be fine." He said.

Callen smiled. "You just panicked, it's a big change, and you're going to have dinner with your daughter, her mother and the team."

"I'm responsible for her now, I mean she's had years without me, but now I know she's here I am responsible for her well being, keeping her safe, I don't want her to…." He trailed off, but Callen knew the value in waiting.

"You know about my father…I told you…I don't want to be like him, I don't want her to feel about me like I do about him."

"Then don't." Callen said

"It's not that easy…what if I muck up." Deeks said. "What if I end up like….him?"

Callen stood up, "Deeks, you had your mother growing up didn't you?" he asked, "You never talk about her."

Deeks nodded, "Yeah…she was around and she loves me, she pretty much went to pieces after my father was arrested, she couldn't look after me properly so the county sued her for neglect and I ended up in foster care." He admitted.

"But you saw her right?"

"Three hours every Friday, supervised visits." He told him.

"So you know your mother loves you, you have memories with her." Callen prompted. "And those childhood memories of your mother, they're important to you?"

"Well, yeah?" Deeks replied confused.

"I have no memory of either or my parents. If at Ellie's age I would have found my father, perfect or not, he would have been my father and I would have hung on to him with all that, I had. There is nothing he could have done to not want me to be a part of his life."

Deeks looked at Callen and could see the truth in Callen's words.

"Your father, I know you have some bad memories but did you love him?"

"Yes." Deeks answered without hesitation "he's my father."

"Exactly." Callen said holding out a hand for Deeks to get up.

"You have a little girl who right now is busy getting herself ready to hang on to you. Don't let her down Deeks."

Taking the offered hand Deeks stood up, "Thanks Callen."

Callen smiled, "Sometimes it takes watching other people have something you really want to have, to know exactly what it is you were missing."

They walked out of the bathroom and Kensi and Sam looked over concerned.

"You ok?" Kensi asked.

Deeks nodded for a second wondering what Callen was going to say, "Yeah he couldn't get his tie right, see I told ya it was no big deal." Callen said with a shrug as he grabbed his bag, "So are we going or what?" he asked heading for the door.