Too Beautiful For the Alpha

Chapter 17

I immediately close the door behind me and turn to him with wide eyes. His scent is muffled and I can't tell if I am imagining him or not. "W-What are you doing here?"

James nears me and my heart begins to race. The sight of him makes me feel secure, a warm feeling spreading throughout my shaking body. The darkness of my bedroom shadows his face, making him a figure in the night, something my eyes could be playing tricks with. Once close enough, the moonlight from my window lightens up his face and my throat grows dry. He reaches out to me, takes my hand in his, showing me that he is indeed real. "I'm here to finalize things, Rae," he says, his voice less smooth than it has been in the past.

I struggle to speak, bringing me back to when I first met him. "You're going—you're going to reject me now?"

I can see his jaw clench. "Yes."

A shower of sadness rains down on me in one abrupt wave. My entire body is weighed down and my chest struggles to rise. My eyes can do nothing else but look up at him, hoping he sees that I am unwilling. My lip quivers like a lost child's. "Don't."

It's all I can't muster and he lets out a breath, his glaze tearing from mine. "Rae—"

"No," I murmur, quiet so no one downstairs hears me, but also quieted by my swelling throat. "Just don't. Not yet? I'm not ready yet." I'm not ready to let go.

"When? When will you be ready?" He asks, not really asking, though.

"I won't. I don't want you to reject me."

James looks down at me as if he's trying to figure me out, a puzzle he just can't put together. "When I told you that you had to go home, you agreed. You left without a problem."

"Because I didn't know if you wanted me there. I'm not going to stay somewhere I'm not wanted."

"I don't want you there," he says calmly.

With nothing to lose, I ask, "Why?"

He sighs and drifts further into my bedroom, not focused on anything around him. "Because I don't want to hurt you anymore. You need to be somewhere you can be happy."

"But I—"

"You cannot tell me that you were happy at my Pack, Rae. You weren't. You were miserable. You were doing anything to get out."

I don't know how to make him understand because I hardly understand it myself. Maybe it was that one hint of kindness that gave me hope. "Do you want me there?"

He stays quiet.

"So if I were to come back, you would hurt me again? Would nothing change? Is this what you want? To reject me? If this is what you want, I'm not going to try and change your mind. You can reject me right now then."

There is a pause before he says, "It doesn't matter want I want."

"But do you want me there?" I press. "Would you treat me the same?"

James' eyes bleed into darkness. "You can't trust me."

Disappointment slaps me in the face. "So you wouldn't change? What about my things? What about in the kitchen when you—"

"Enough."

"No. You can't give me hope only to push me away. It's not fair. I told you what I wanted that night and you pushed me away, you sent me back here and I've been miserable. Stop acting like you don't want me one minute, then that you need to send me away for my own good the other. Just tell me what you want. And not what you feel like you need to say. Tell me the truth."