1:55 ➣ snapchat ➣ jack d. grazer [ 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙋𝙇𝙀𝙏𝙀𝘿 ]

[51] irl

🗒 ❛ 1:55 ༉‧₊˚✧
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ellie joseph

"i miss you, too, wy." i said into the phone. i was currently on a phone call with wyatt, and we hadn't  ended it in 6 hours.

it had been two weeks since i came back home to seattle, and i didn't know what wyatt and i were. i still didn't know how i felt about everything.

but i do know that i felt one thing; empty.

"we'll all see each other again soon. i promise." he responded. i could practically hear the grin that was on his lips.

"i hope so. i miss you guys a lot." i frowned, placing the phone on my stomach as i laid on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"i know."

we stayed in a comfortable silence for a moment, my brain swarming with thoughts as i began to make shapes out of the bumps on the ceiling.

soon enough, wyatt's voice rang though my ears once again. "hey, el, i gotta go for now. i'll talk to you later, okay?"

i nodded before sitting up on the bed, grabbing my phone and holding it in my hand as i hugged my knees. "okay. bye, love you."

"i love you more." he replied, the call soon ending as the three beeps filled my ears.

i stood up, making my way out of my room and into the small living room of my apartment as a yawn escaped my mouth, tiredness overwhelming me.

i was acting okay. like everything was fine, when i knew it wasn't. it was the exact opposite. i missed jack more than anything.

i knew that taking space from one another was the best possible option after everything that had happened— but it was hard, especially when i was also conflicted about my feelings for wyatt.

he had always been there for me, but more so ever since that day in the hotel room. we both felt something, i knew that— i just wasn't exactly sure what it was.

my brain was telling me wyatt while my heart was telling me jack, and i didn't know which one to follow.

feeling the anxiety begin to build up in my chest, i took a deep breath and shook my head, collapsing onto the sofa as the blankets hanging over the back fell on top of my legs. i grabbed them, spreading them out over me as i turned to lay on my side, facing the back of the couch.

i snuggled closer to the cushions, my mind filling with flashbacks to 3 weeks prior when i was in LA— when jack and i were still together.

we were laughing and watching tiktoks together— the back of his head resting on my stomach as his phone hovered slightly above his face, turning the screen toward me every few seconds to show me a new video that he found funny.

dancing around the kitchen to taylor swift when everybody else was asleep and having the boiling water spill over the top of the pot because we got lost in each other.

the daily facetime calls we had where we would stay up all night talking about the most random things, but somehow it was enough for us. i was never once bored.

he was my everything. and i lost it.

wyatt, however, was a different story.

like i said, he had been there from the beginning. i don't know what it was that day— the anger, maybe the jealousy— but i kissed him, and it almost went to far.

i had regretted it in the moment, but now? i wasn't so sure how i felt about it.

i let out a shaky breath that had been building in my throat as i shut my eyes, pressing my forehead against the back of the sofa, images of jack and wyatt filling my mind. i let out a groan, repositioning myself more comfortably as i inhaled, counting to 5 before exhaling.

after a couple more deep breaths, my eyes began to get heavier and heavier, not noticing the vibration of my phone ringing coming from sophia as i slowly drifted away.

—

updated as of feb. 2022
- 777hearts
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