Luna and the Moon [H.S]

44: tell me.

Another update cause oddly, I love this chapter :)

Silence.

Yes, silence may be quiet, but it's deadly. It leaves wounds on your body, dents in your heart and a pounding in your head. Silence really does speak a thousand words, or sometimes like right now, it's just silence.

A pin could drop and I would hear it loud and clear. Our breathing mingled together and the drumming of my heart became very overpowering, I was worried Harry could hear it from where I sat.

Sometimes silence is okay, it's a comfortable silence, one that doesn't make you feel awkward and nervous. And other times the silence that lingers heavy over your head, is so painful and makes you bite so hard on your lip you draw blood and you nibble away at the inside of your cheek until you've created a painful ulcer.

My throat felt dry and scratchy, and my palms began to sweat. I wasn't sure why I was as nervous as I was, maybe because I'm waiting to find out if Harry still wants me. At first when he said he was sad that he lost me I thought he was going to try and win me back, which would have been very easy. But then he whipped out the 'you deserve better' card, which makes me think he wants to let me go. And honestly, I don't want that. I was stupid to never text him, I was stupid to let him walk away from me. I should've ran after him, begged him to talk to me.

I fell head first in love with this man, and I let him walk away from me.

"Please Harry," I begged quietly. "If you want me, tell me."

He shook his head.

"Tell me, Harry."

"Luna," his eyes scrunched up, the internal battle fighting hard inside of him. "I love you, so so much," he looked at me. "But I have hurt you too much, I ruined everything."

"You haven't Harry, we can fix it —"

"If I had a pound for every time you said that, I'd be rich," he commented with a dry laugh. His sarcastic comment was short before a small little tear trickled down his red cheek. "Tell me I haven't hurt you?"

I couldn't tell him that, because he has. "We've fixed it though, it was a bruise not a scar. You and I healed ourselves, this time we let a small scratch last longer than it should have," I said.

"Come on Luna," he groaned. "I kissed somebody else! Why aren't you mad at me!?"

"Is that what you want from me? For me to be mad at you?" I shot back, pushing myself off the sofa and looking down at him.

"That's not what I'm saying, Luna," he snapped back, just as harshly. "I'm saying, you haven't ever showed signs of hating my guts. You just seem to want to fix everything all the time."

"If you don't face it, you can't fix it. I want to be with you Harry, I know I haven't made that obvious," I said through a bitter laugh. "And I apologise, but can you blame me for avoiding you? You kissed your ex, your ex was pregnant with your baby, I asked you to move in with me and you left to visit your ex. None of that looks good in my eyes."

He smiled, seeming satisfied with my outburst. He wanted this, he wanted me to tell him how I really felt. "I kissed her and I knew I fucked up, she told me it meant nothing to her either so there was no point in telling you," that made my anger bubble even more. "But I'd never keep something like that from you, I couldn't lie and hide what I did. I know I fucked up, I know I hurt you and I know I could never ever take it back. But I just want you to know, it meant nothing to me. People say that all the time, but I mean it. I was stupid, I was emotional and I was weak, when I knew what I was doing I stopped. I'm sorry."