Pathetic

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After a moment, a small whimper tears from Envy's throat.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Envy asks in a tone almost inaudible.

"I wanted to but-"

"But why?" Amiec turns his head to see Envy's blue and gold eyes searching his own dark ones. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"I have no explanation... I was weak. I didn't know if you felt the same or if I'd be made fun..... of.... for loving an Omega" catching what he said, he looks away from Envy, closing his eyes and focusing on the pain in his face. He deserved that pain. All the pain he could have stopped from reaching Envy and more.

"Do you know how much easier it would have been if I had someone... anyone... by my side?" Amiec frowns and turns his head to look at Envy, the tears once again filling his eyes.

He sits up slowly, not wanting to provoke another spike of rage from the pale creature and braces himself with his left arm behind him.

He reaches out with a shaky hand and very gently wipes the tears from Envy's eyes. With the same hand, he takes it a step further and strokes his cheek with the back of his fingers.

"I'm really sorry. I know I can't make it up to you, but, I'm willing to try for as long as it takes," he says, fingering a wisp of hair that fell into Envy's eyes. He tucks the silky strands behind his ear, wary but over the moon that he's letting him touch him like this.

"Why?" A voice hoarse with raw emotion answers him and he just can't resist it any longer. He sits up and wraps his arms around Envy, pulling him into a tight embrace. Envy stiffens against him, hands caught between them, against Amiec's chest, and he can tell he isn't sure what to think about it. He closes his mind to those thoughts and tightens his arms around him, taking in the scent of his hair, his skin.

"Because I love you. I want to show you." Amiec replied. A moment's pause and Envy relaxes, silent sobs gently rippling through his body. He pulls his arms from between them and hesitantly ties them around Amiec, just barely at first, but, as he rubs his back, he clenches him tightly, digging his fingertips into his back.

He pulls slightly away after a while and tilts Envy's chin up with his forefinger and thumb. With his other hand, he lets go of him, using a finger to wipe away the moistness from his eyes clumsily. Envy laughs a little at his attempts and brushes his hand aside, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. Putting his hands in his lap, he looks sheepishly up at Envy, and Amiec can feel his heart threatening to burst at the small sound of Envy's voice.

"I'm sorry."

"What the hell are you sorry for?" Amiec's eyebrows shoot towards his hairline and Envy, shocked at first by his outburst pauses, then bursts into laughter. Amiec frowns, as he watches him rock back in forth with genuine mirth, holding his hand to his chest to steady himself. All he can see is the laughter in his eyes and the way his smile sent shockwaves to his heart. After a couple of moments, he calms down enough for conversation, a smile still touching the corner of his lips.

"I'm sorry for, you know... " he gestures vaguely towards Amiec and their positions.

"For hugging me?" Amiec asks, evenly.

"No, for crying... I haven't really done that for years... I guess it was all built up or something..." he trails off, not meeting his eyes, suddenly very interested in the cracks in the cabin floor's wood.

"You don't have to apologize," Amiec says, standing and offering his hand to Envy, who reluctantly takes it and pulls himself to his feet. " it's my fault, too. I want to be the one to bear all of the pain you shoulder." He leads him to his bedroom and sits down. Envy sits next to him and looks awkwardly at the floor.

"You say that now but..." he plays with his fingers and doesn't look at him. Amiec's had enough and he pushes him back on the pillow, climbing atop of him, despite his protests.

"Get off-" Envy begins to yell but Amiec is too loud for him.

"I am going to propose something to you." he stops, catching Envy's attention, who lies still and looks up at him, a blush slowly colouring his cheeks.

"What...?" His voice cracks a little and he glares, the embarrassment of the situation clearly starting to weigh in.

"Have you ever been with a real Alpha before, Envy?" He asks in a husky voice, clenching the sheets on either side of his head.

"I've be-... w-" He cuts himself off as the obvious hits him in the face. Hard. "What are you doing?!" He yells, trying to throw Amiec off, bucking his body and struggling. After a bit of a struggle, Amiec gets him under control; arms pinned above his head, legs spread with his knee in between. He hovers over Omega and looks at him calmly.

"I didn't get a chance to state my proposal..." Frantic eyes pierce his own from under heavy white lashes and Amiec almost loses his composure as Envy's tongue darts out to wet his lips. Envy forcibly calms himself and nods his head, signaling him to continue.

"Just one kiss. If you hate it, I will leave it at that." Amiec feels his heart damn near burst at the thought of "leaving it at that" but, he will not force love on someone who isn't ready to, or can't accept it.

"One?" a small voice asks uncertainly.

"Just one," he confirms, looking down into curious swirling depths of sapphire and gold. Envy closes his eyes, and Amiec leans down, forcing his body to stay calm as he brushes his lips gently against Envy's. Breathing him in, he pulls from the kiss, gently tugging his bottom lip with his teeth. Envy, barely responding at first, moves his own lips against his, parting them to let Amiec's tongue gently sweep across his bottom lip.

Amiec pulls away, heart exploding in his chest as he looks down at the slender being beneath him, eyes closed, a soft red blush dancing across his face. Envy slowly opens his eyes and looks openly into Amiec's, searching for something, seemingly lost in thought. He doesn't move, cherishing these few moments where Envy is his, despite them assuredly going to be the last. A moment later, he reaches up and fingers the fringe of Amiec's short black hair, playing in one of the loose waves.

"I uh...." his blush deepens as his long fingers tangle in Amiec's locks. "Your hair is a lot softer than I thought it... would be." He looks helplessly at Amiec, who gets the hint immediately.

"You like me, too?" he blurts out, too astounded to even care about sensitivity. Envy pauses, taking in his face before dropping his hand to the bed by his side.

"I always did... maybe that's why it hurt so much that you didn't help me when they used to beat me up and mess with me all those times in the past." He turns his head to the side, eyes closed, a frown dominating his face.

"I'm sorry, Envy. I am. I mean, I know you can fight like no one else. Hell, I'm actually afraid of your little butt..." he smiles a little and braces his weight on one arm, turning Envy's head to face him with the other, looking into his eyes. "... why didn't you fight back?"

"Why would I? What right do I have to fight for me when I have no purpose?" His face starts to fill with anger and sadness as he continues. "No one cares if I'm here or not. If I live or not. If I make it or not. Why should I fight when I don't have anything or anyone to live for?"

"I'll give you something to live for." Amiec says, unzipping Envy's coat and forcing it from his body. Underneath was nothing. "You planned on strolling out of here this close to winter with a goddamn coat on and no shirt?!"

"I... wasn't thinking. I was mad!" Envy replies, flustered. Amiec's expression softens and a smile touches the corner of his lips.

"You need me to take care of you. Let me show you how well I can." He leans down and presses a kiss to Envy's lips, memorizing the taste of them, the softness of his tongue on his and the fact that, as he holds him in his arms right now, Envy is his.

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