ANXIETY.
i truly believed the worst of it was over, that i had overcome my fear of large crowds and uttered words. i hadn't felt the deep plunge in my stomach in so long, it almost took me a minute to recognise it.
we had to do a performance essay, so i got up, and began my speech. then you laid your eyes on me, and somehow, all the words on the paper infront of me merged into a kaleidoscope of burnt memories and touches, all my thoughts crumpled infront of me the way you left them. i stopped. i looked around the room, searching for something to calm the aching i felt in my chest, but instead my throat began to close — and that did it.
i ran, i ran out of the classroom in the middle of my presentation without a word. tears stung my cheeks as you watched me leave, it almost hurt as much as when you left me.
that's when i knew,
it hadn't truly left,
the anxiety still burdened my soul like a cloud of lingering smoke.
and i knew
i hadn't truly gotten over you.
YOU ARE READING
the cause of my self destruction
Randomjust an exhuast ridden girl trying to find her way through the chaos of life. - contains a series of poems, thoughts and a collection of rants by me.
