Broken Bride ✔ {EDITING}

Had to let go -13

I had to give her that. I don't know how she did it but she was just amazing in every way.

When I knew hurting, and ignoring her didn't effect her or locking myself away from her didn't work I had to go take other routes - cruel ways to make her let go of me.

At first it was a promise to make her life miserable but it turned into a mission to protect her from me.

Three days before that night, the night that still haunts me and makes me wish I was never in her life or simply didn't exist.

The night I took her innocence.

Nothing will justify my actions even when I was purely drunk.

Guilt wasn't the only thing that was killing me - because I was also being tested by god - and one day I knew guilt, regret, and my emotions wouldn't be the only thing that will kill me in the end but Lukemia would.

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Fatigueness is what I always felt. I always wanted to take a break from work, from this stressful life but I couldn't. I didn't want to let my father down. I wanted to work hard to make him proud, I always did.

It has been eight months of our marriage and about a couple months that I had been feeling too lazy, tired and fighting with constant body aches. I knew it's from over working myself.

I always want to get away from her, block her out of my mind so work and gym was the only thing I kept my self busy with. Slowly I lost my appetite, never felt like eating and when I did, I would immediately throw up.

Serene was always on my case, carrying tray of her delicious food - yes I just admitted her food was bomb - always scolding me like I was a child to eat more and work less. That would anger me further cause I never liked being pushed or bossed around.

It was therapeutic to be around her but my mind constantly reminded me of the past so I would immediatly bring her down, broke her fragile wings like a butterfly.

She made me so angry in an instant and I don't know why. But I know it was my fucked up emotions as well as my physical condition.

I stopped going to the gym, didn't have the strenght to do so anymore. Slowly a few weeks has passed and my vomitting has gotten worse with blood often in there. I am always light headed, blood would sometimes leak out of my nose.

But I kept it quiet, I thought it would go away. I never said a word. Never let my physical illness get in between my work.

It was beyond amazing, how my company has sky rocketed. I had opened more business around the world. This merge is the best thing that has came out of this marriage. I put my blood and sweat into my work, I wasn't about to let myself get weak.

Nothing can stop me.

But Serene was.

Sometimes I wanted her attention and I always craved her presence. It started getting worse, I would come home early, which was rare, so I can see her and have her tease me like she always would. I stopped pushing her away and I would sit on the couch silently, eat dinner and watch her slowly shift closer and closer to me when we watched a stupid romance movie she enjoyed so much. But my attention, discreetly, would be on her.

She never noticed that I cared for her in that very short amount of time. Her careness, gentleness towards me, her cheery mood, her boldness, and confidence eventually was rubbing on me but I never wanted to cave in. I still kept it normal in between us, didn't get either of our hopes up. I know the unknown symptoms to my sickness was the reason why I felt vulnerable.