South Park: Stick of Truth Imagines

You Deserve It (Cartman x Reader)

You were Y/N, a level 17 thief and the best the humans had. Well, technically Craig is, being level 24, but since he was in detention most of the time, you were the most reliable. At the moment, you were on a very dangerous mission. You were going to steal the Stick from the elves in broad daylight. Why did you take on this suicide mission? Well, it definitely does not have anything to do with the fact that you can be a tad stubborn…
                But that was beside the point. At the moment, your focus was on the Stick as it lay on the lap of the stupid elf king. You had managed to sneak in the elven kingdom without being detected. Now you were alone with the sleeping king, the others, including guards, were most likely still celebrating their victory. The elves had literally stolen the Stick yesterday and you smirked as you were about to cut their celebrations short.
                Quietly, you snuck up to the sleeping king, your feet practically making any noise. Just as you were about to reach for the Stick, the elf mumbled in his sleep and started to move. Quick as a blink, you darted behind the throne. You heard a content sigh and dared a peek. Good. He had fallen back into a deep sleep. Then you noticed he was holding the Stick against his chest.
                Mentally you cursed at your luck. Silent as a shadow, you slinked around the throne. Carefully, you slid the Stick out of his hand and replaced it with a wooden sword that was lying around. You held your breath as he frowned his sleep, but luckily didn’t wake. Quickly yet quietly, you made your way out of the royal tent and out of elven lands.
                Just as you crossed the border into No Man’s Land, you heard the elves’ alarm bell ringing as they realized the Stick was gone. Laughing to yourself, you made your way back to Kuppa Keep. Everyone watched as you walked up to Cartman. They all knew of your mission. It was the talk of the kingdom the moment you accepted it. Proudly, you walked up to the throne, reached into your bag and presented the Stick. Cartman took it and held it up. The humans broke out in cheers.
                After a few minutes of celebrating, you were getting tired. High risk and stress missions will take a lot out of a person, even a level 17 thief. Using your thief abilities, you snuck away from the celebrating humans and the commotion. Finding a nice quiet spot next to the royal tent, you sat down and took a few moments for yourself.
                Your moment of self was broken when you heard footsteps. Without even opening your eyes, you knew who it was. “Grand High Wizard,” you acknowledged.
                “How did you know it was me?” he asked, sitting down next to you. A light smirk graced your lips as you opened your eyes and glanced at him.
                “Thief abilities,” you merely said. Cartman nodded.
                “Right,” he said. The two of you sat in silence. ‘What the fuck does he want?’ you thought. You noticedhe kept sneaking glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking. You also noticed he kept fingering something in his hands.
                Arching an eyebrow, you asked, “Is there something I can help you with?” The somewhat overweight boy’s cheeks turned a light pink as he looked down at his hands.
                “What you did today was amazing,” he said, “I mean, you literally took the Stick from that Jew’s hands!” He cleared his throat. “It’s just, not just anybody can do that and… Here.” He placed a Little Debbie cream pie in your hand. “You deserve it,” he said softly, almost mumbling.
                With that, he stood up and quickly walked away, his hands stuffed in his pockets. You looked down at the snack in your hand and smiled. Yeah, he could be a dick, but you’ve seen a side of Cartman that no one else has. A side that was reserved strictly for you.