Chapter Thirty Eight

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Word Count: 1909

~Alaya

Pain. And a whole lot of it too.

  It's not the average kind of pain either. It sears right up my neck, like the lick of a flame, right to the base of my skull, heating everything up to the point I considered that my body might just explode.

I grip tightly onto Asher's hair, not sure how to react. He marked me. I'm his now, and he's mine. There is nothing to change this natural fact that has brought us together as mate. Even if it makes me feel angry, even if it has me completely stunned, this is now a fact. I could both kill Asher and make love to him at the same time.

When he finally pulls away, I use both my hands on his chest to push him back.

I need some space right now if I have a chance of comprehending what just happened. Thinking back to when I first met the gaze of this golden eyed man, I would have never guessed he was my mate. Sure, our fates were intertwined in the most unique way, however, mates? I hardly know anything about Asher.

I know he dragged me here and used me. He used me to 'help' Fate, and then what? Is he going to keep me in the immortal lands just because he now has marked me? If so, I'll never forgive him. I'll hate him forever, even if my emotions right now are all over the place.

"I can't believe you just did that," I gasp, my hand coming up to my neck. It bleeds only slightly, but it feels as though it's gushing open, running down my neck to my shoulder.

Asher wipes at his mouth, eyes feral. He's fighting off his primitive nature, I can tell. It has seeped into his veins, consuming him to the point where he has to clench his fists, his teeth, to stop himself from jumping at me. At this point, he just trying to stop himself from angering me further.

"Why?" I growl, wishing the stinging on my neck would cease. "Asher, why would you do something like this?"

"I had to," He breathed. "I had to show you what you mean to me. That I am angry about what Sinful did, and that from here on out, you come first in everything. Your wishes come before mine."

I shake my head at him. "You see, I don't believe you."

"Alaya, I had no other choice. I want to protect you. Now, with whatever you want to do next. Do you want me to take you home? I will, if that is what you please. But right now, I can't come with you. Not until everything has been dealt with here," Asher pleads, stepping forward only for me to match the step back.

"You know what I want? I want you to let Aspen go. Let him run away and live his life elsewhere. Pick someone else to murder in cold blood," I snap, still stepping back, trampling the emerald green grass behind me.

Asher looks regretful, as if my words are bringing him great pain. This is the problem. Still, even now, as Asher is my mate, and has marked me, I can't tell whether his intentions are truly good or bad. When I first thought I would meet my mate, I believed I would fall instantly in love. I even considered him to be a good man.

Even though the feeling is there with Asher, I'm left wondering what is going on in his head. Does he truly care for me? Or is his motive to turn around and change everything around in front of my face. I wouldn't be there first time...

"I wish I could do that, but who knows what Sinful would do," Asher explains. "He could hurt you, badly. You only walked along the brink of his manipulation. I can assure you that you don't want to see anything else that he is capable of."

"All for Fate? Tell me you don't really think it's worth it."

"Alaya, I don't want harm to come to anyone. This has to happen. He needs to sacrifice someone. And it's not as if Sinful is destroying them forever. The souls are sent to the Moon to be kept as a prisoner," Asher tells me.

This catches my attention, and almost instantly did Asher read my expression, he shook his head in fright. It's too late, though. I've caught onto the idea, and I'm not about to let go of it.

"Why don't we go back, once Sinful has crushed his soul to retrieve it?" I say, a slight inch of hope blooming out from my chest. This could be the only chance we have to save Aspen's life. Even though I would have no idea how to get to the Moon, I'm left to assume Asher would know.

"That's not even an option," Asher excuses. "The Moon isn't something you just visit and leave with someone so easily. The Moon breaks people, ruins them. It changes their perspective on everything in an instant, turning the best souls into something horrible and disturbing. If we went back to get Aspen, he wouldn't be the same."

I lean, my back hitting the wall to the house behind me. There goes every ounce of hope that I once had.

Asher steps forward slowly, tentatively, watching carefully for my reaction.

"You know this wasn't the end game that I wanted," Asher says, making me shake my head. I don't know if there is room for another response from me. I'm completely baffled by him and everything that he has proposed in the last two days. I would do anything to take it all back and start over.

To never let him touch me.

"What else could have happened?" I growl. "How else could you have spun your lies to suit you?"

Asher almost seems to visibly flinch. At this point I'm not worried about the feelings that I hurt or the words I can't take back. He needs to know how I'm feeling in this moment, whether it's hard for him or not.

"Would you rather not have me as your mate at all?" He asks gently, eyebrows furrowing as a withdrawn look taints the shine in those golden eyes. "Would you rather Fate spun your story in a different way?"

The bite of his words hit me square in the chest. Did I want that? I chose my next words carefully.

"There's no point wishing upon Fate to change anything. What is done is done, and not even the strongest power should bother changing that," I say slowly, monitoring each word as it comes out of my mouth. "It's just, I hardly know you for what you state you truly are. In my eyes, at this moment, you're nothing but a stranger."

"Then get to know me," he insists.

He stands only inches away from me, but in some light, it feels like miles. A part of me wants to reach out and touch him, or comfort away the panicked look on his face. Instead I press my palms securely against the wall of the house. I'm glad our voices haven't risen anyone else. If they did, I would surely be dead.

"How?" I question. "How am I supposed to when you're killing Aspen off? I may not know him, but he's a life worth living. Don't you see that?"

Asher shakes his head at me, letting dark strands of moonlight strewn hair fall into his eyes. "You're too good for this kind of world."

"That doesn't change anything," I breathe. "It only makes it more obvious that we might not be right for each other."

Asher turns, walks for a few steps away from me, before he turns back around, digging his hands into his hair. It burns at my heart to see him like this, so distraught over something that I'm causing. The logical part of my mind scolds me for thinking so carefully about this. It tells me I should reject him now, even with this mark upon my neck.

Almost as if that thought connected with Asher, he steps forward, once again closing the gap between us. Even if I wanted to move, I couldn't, being trapped against the wall. The moment his hand comes out to touch me, I startle, however, I pause as I understand what he is planning to do.

The moment his fingers touch the mark upon my neck, I realise what his intentions are. In less than five minutes it has completely healed into a slight mark that will forever brand my body. The moment he touches it, it's as if everything falls into place.

"I don't need long to prove to you that I can be the mate that you want, that you need," he insists. "Please, just tell me you will give me time. Once I'm done, you will know me, and want to get to know me. I promise."

I let out a loose breath. "Okay, I can give you time. But not much."

A horrible thought has plagued my mind. An idea. It will end badly, I'm sure of it, but it's a way to save Aspen and Asher. At this point, it's the only option.

Asher exhales in relief, withdrawing his hand from my neck. I lean forward on the tips of my toes to kiss his cheek. It's a simple gesture of trust. It's my way of showing him that he does have a chance.

Hopefully at the end of this all, I'll have a chance too.

***
It wasn't easy seeing Aspen's face when he first saw Asher. Nor way it easy finding out that Coen and Dawn work for Sinful. That this entire time, they could keep us here, giving Asher time to get to us.

Once we got back to Sinful's estate, I waited until Asher had gone to sleep before I did anything more. It wasn't easy convincing him I was okay.


I knock softly on Sinful's door with the tips of my knuckles, leaning closer to hear for his voice. When I hear his request to enter, I turn the handle and step inside. He's sitting there at the piano, fingers balancing on the white keys. When he turns to me, I catch a glimpse of those familiar lavender coloured eyes.

"I don't want you to sacrifice Aspen," I say softly, my shoulder bumping against the doorframe as I lean against it. "In two days, I want you to sacrifice me instead."

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Scary thought...the next update for this book will be after my very last day of high school. Forever.

Even though I still have two weeks of exams, it's freaking me out knowing I have two weeks of high school left before I have to adult.

Over the summer break, I'll be full time writing. At least I'm excited for that!!

 At least I'm excited for that!!

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