Friday Night Dinner

The Haircut

"Oh Martin," I spoke sympathetically as I saw the now bald 55 year old.

"If you're talking about the haircut, there was an incident at the barber" he replied, shirtless and bottomless as well. I looked down to his stained underwear and frowned in confusion, "boiling" he walked away to the kitchen. Aunty Jack walked into the foyer, sighed and rolled her eyes. She was carrying a dish to the table.

"Martin! Go put some clothes, nobody wants to see your boiling bum" she scolded him then said hello to me, "hi love, Jonny and Adam are in the garage"

"What are they doing in there?"

"Lord knows, I'm not allowed in" she nudged me.

I made my way to the garage through the house, the door was locked so I knocked. "Guys?"

"Shit! She's going to kill me! We have a dinner next Saturday!" Jonny cursed and tried whispering. What did he do?

"What's going on? Why is the door locked?" I spoke through the door. It opened after I jiggled it a few times. The two boys stood there nonchalantly.

"Hey babe, what's up?" Jonny spoke as he gave me a kiss and walked by. He was wearing a beanie...so was Pusface.

"Not much, why does your dad look like a giant baby?"

"There was an incident at the barber" Adam replied, "and the stain on his pants is something I wish not to know"

The boys sat on their phones and occasionally glanced to one another, they could tell I was suspicious, "what's with the beanies?" I asked. They both shrugged.

"It's cold" Jonny replied, he was avoiding eye contact. That's when I went to the weaker brother. I shot daggers at Adam, scanning his every movement. He squirmed at my glare.

"What?" Adam snapped. I leaned back and tried to think about why they were acting so weird. After a few moments of me on my phone I grabbed the beanie off of Jonny's head. Oh. My. Lord.

"Hey! Give that back!" Jonny struggled. His head was as shiny as a bowling ball.

"What have you done?" I tried stifling my laugh by chewing on the inside of my cheek. Jonny sighed and glanced at Adam before telling me what he had to say. He took a deep breath.

"So Pusface and I had a bet-"

"Of course" I muttered. Such buffoons.

"We never thought it would happen. Honestly! I never thought Dad would go bald! He really doesn't suit it, you can see his weird skull" Jonny explained.

"What was the bet? You go bald when Dad did? Nothing happens to Pusface?!" This is injustice!, "put your beanie back on you look like a cotton tip" I threw him his hat.

"No, if Dad went bald, so did we"

"What? That's hardly a bet, it's more of a...dare...a double dare" I shrugged at his problematic logic.

"The bet wasn't between Pissface and I" Adam spoke up, I gasped and covered my mouth.

"No" I whispered. I couldn't hide my grin, the boys nodded. Aunty Jack? That evil enchantress, "this is the greatest thing to ever happen to me" I almost cried of laughter. I snatched the beanie from Pusface and chuckled some more, "you guys look like the Conehead's" Adam grabbed his beanie back and gave me a little slap.

We all sat down for dinner, Jonny and Adam had looked like they had come to a battlefield, all happiness escaped their eyes and only dread was left. Aunty Jack and I couldn't stop grinning and Martin couldn't give a damn. His shirt wasn't even buttoned properly.

"Martin, button your shirt up right and boys," Aunty Jack paused, savouring the moment, "no beanies at the table" she sucked in her cheek to refrain from giggling. The boys rolled their eyes and obliged. It was like sitting with a bunch of Nazi's. Totally uncomfortable.

"So, what exactly happened at the hairdressers?" I asked.

"The barbers" Martin corrected.

"The barbers" I repeated.

"There was an incident at the barbers," Martin started.

"Like a fight?" I asked.

"Um, why don't you tell her Jackie?"

"No you're fine love, I'm having trouble remembering" Aunty Jack replied and poured herself a glass of red.

"Okay, well there I was. Sitting in the chair after a long day of gardening. I had a bit of poo on me because I bought fresh mulch and you know how hard it is to get that smell off-well anyway, the man was so rude to me, asking if I was there for the seniors special so of course I tell him 'Mate, I'm only in my 50s so give me something that says I'm not old' and he started off shaving the sides of my head!" I was holding onto to every word, Jonny and Adam just looked bored, "so I said, 'woah woah um, maybe today's youth look like a bunch of boy bands but in my day, which wasn't that long ago, we all just had buzzcuts"

"Of course, further proving your point of being a young respected adult" I commented. Martin nodded and widened in eyes in agreement to my sarcastic remark.

"I know! So then this moron shaves all my hair off and I'm loving it! I get excited and I cheer, I shared my head around because I thought he was done, I raised my arms up...and he nips the side. He made me bald in one spot, I got upset of course, I don't want to look like an old git. So Jackie comes over and sorts the situation out, telling me to shave the whole thing to the scalp and have it grow back thicker!" I smiled at his anecdote, I took a look across the table to the boys and Aunty Jack, "I'm going to look so young once my hairs grow back"

"Fantastic idea, I've also got a little thought. A lot of action heroes have bald heads, you know like Vin Diesel, The Rock...Jason Statham, maybe you should go for that?" I suggested. Martin's eyes widened a bit and he considered the idea.

"Oh I don't know love" Aunty Jack commented, Martin looked at her with confusion.

"What? You don't think I could be an action hero?" He challenged. Aunty Jack held his hand.

"Aw sweetie, of course I do! The only difference between you and The Rock is the American accent. I wouldn't want women throwing themselves at you that's all" She is so funny tonight. Martin smiled and gave her a kiss. We all smiled at the couple, that's when I turned to the boys and leaned in, they copied me.

"Can I rub your heads for good luck?"