Sticky Pieces - Epistolary Novel

Chapter 6: Blurred Resilience

I don't know when the distance truly started.

I was now the moving helper for Coriander, but once I wasn't I was... busy? I learned to admire his resilience as usual. I wanted to learn more for my own love. Love that was there when no one else was. Did he see me as resilient with what I was best at?

I tried staying occupied with new books Marcello discussed on his blog. Books he found without me. I wanted to contribute so badly. Or was it too out of reach too?

That's when I decided it was time to make my own blog and made an effort to refrain from commenting right away. I needed to look good. I needed something him and his viewers could look into. And possibly comment back on.

I couldn't handle the wait and became lame in my decision to write about writing. Then left him some positive feedback.

It wasn't long before he responded and I was impressed. He took his work seriously. His responses were structured neat like his blog. He seemed to happily apply this work ethic to my own blog which left me extra happy.

Reading and writing became more fun and helped the summer days blur. I wasn't so concerned about the days anymore. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I wanted structure in that part of my life, but was enjoying each moment. It at least helped me not think of the absence of Coriander that was growing.

But when I saw Coriander I was more attached. I wanted to do so much. We seemed to mindlessly drive with no clear direction. Feelings taking over. To the point I became more confident. I was with my writing and responding to comments.

But I was best compared to a strong hiccup. I never gave my gal and guy friend much thought, but it was two against one about those people in my life. I figured it was time to take both of my playing cards more seriously. So it was only fair. I finally introduced him to another close gal friend and when things died down I did what I really wanted.

"Can we really be together?" I stared into Coriander's eyes and slipped with my motives.

He sat there looking confused as we sat there in his vehicle and my gaze reverted away nervously. My hands were the only things that could somewhat hold it together while I hoped he would figure it out, but after some time I saw his hand finding mine in my lap. I glanced up as he shook his head yes before hugging me.

I could feel his breath fanning across my neck and didn't dare let the feeling go as I kept a firm grip of what was mine. Which caused me to feel his joy escalating. I couldn't contain it either and waited for a yell of frustration to pass.

"I love you." I said too comfortable against his neck. His fingers freely traced my knotted lace back with no direction. There was no way I could move. "It's okay if you don't say it back right now. But please understand this is the one night my caught self wonders how you see me compared to other girls."

It was too dark to see his true reaction anyways. The night itself was pretty dark. No moon. No stars.

"You're the girl I love - all." He finally spoke through the thickness.

"Is there anything that stands out?"

He struggled, it was hard for him. "Your laugh." He pointed out an example.

My laughter was out of control for a second time and he pointed out his love again. I at least witnessed it.

"Vera," He said my name directly to me for the first time, "if you don't quit laughing I'll have to tickle you."

I lost control of my senses. He was eventually able to gently push me back to hold the sides of my face. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes." I barely said as I nodded my head up and down to confirm it.