Chapter 6 : The Bitter Before

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Zofia waited patiently for Lavina to come brush her hair, the dark haired woman still fussing with the pillows. She finally sauntered over and started to harshly tug the brush through Zofia's hair. 

"You are so lucky." Livina started. "The king is such a handsome man." She said thoughtfully. "Imagine if he could wear me on his arm like he does you." Zofia yawned. She didn't feel lucky, but she would agree - with anyone else but Livina - that the king was in fact handsome. 

"Imagine if I were to carry his children. They would have our eyes." She sighed as if she was in a dream. Zofia turned and grabbed the hair brush from her. 

"Yes, well, unfortunately he chose me." Zofia complained as she brushed her own hair. Livina stood behind her, her hands folded together. 

"He could still choose me. I mean the wedding is only Sunday." She bit her lip. Zofia wondered what had gotten into the woman. If she wanted him she could have him, but her timing was all wrong. "Are you afraid of being queen? Do you think you are good enough for him?" She questioned Zofia more, prodding with mock innocence. 

"You should have stepped up sooner." Zofia tied to dismiss her. All this talk about Draegon was making her feel rather insane. A wave of nausea threatened to hit her at the thought of how perfect they would look together. Perhaps she would make him smile, or he would not be so quiet around her. She had seen them together, or caught them together in the study that one day. She had heard a laugh. She wanted to beat Livina away with the wooden brush, like the fly she was. 

"You know. I've heard of queens who let other women carry their children. Perhaps if you would prefer that, we can talk the king into it?" Lavina offered. Zofia shot her a confused look. How dare she? It was fucking bold of her to make a move like that. Zofia did not understand where this lady was coming from. 

"I appreciate the kind offer, Lavina, but regardless of how I feel about this marriage, he will be my husband and I will do right by him." Zofia insisted. It occurred to her that she might not be able to make him happy, but he had chosen her, so perhaps he thought that she might. Zofia hesitated before she got up and walked out, dressed today in blue. She needed no reminder that the mysterious Serena would arrive today. The whole castle was alive with supposed excitement. Zofia wanted to choke at what was all happening around her. Some bride she was. She wasn't even the center of attention. Most women would be neck deep in romance at that point. Zofia didn't even know what flowers they would have at the wedding, or how she wanted her hair. Furthermore, she was starting to feel crippled by the emotions she was suppressing. 

Nik was waiting by the gate, like he had only a few days ago. It felt like it had been a few years since that day. While time felt like it was moving too slowly, it felt like it was going too fast, too. Zofia was afraid and Livina's prodding had only worsened that. Zofia didn't go to the gate. Instead, she took a turn and went to the tree. She sat under it, in the shade. She wasn't supposed to see Nik anyway, Draegon had banned her. His father was so nice to her, but he clearly hated his own son for taking Malia away from them. Zofia felt that it was not Draegon's fault. No matter how badly she wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault, she was not sure how close he would permit her to come to him. More so, it was an issue between father and son. She had nothing to do with it. Zofia felt stuck, and useless. 

"Zofia?" A voice called to her. She looked up, past her guard, at the girl who stood there with a basket in her hands, in a white dress. It was Bella. Bella was madly in love with Nik and Zofia could always see that. She moved over as soon as Zofia acknowledged her. sitting and placing the basket between them. 

"You having a hard time?" She asked, pulling some apples out of the wicker. 

"Yes." Zofia admitted. She took the offered apple with a brief smile. Hesitantly, she took a bite. 

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