The Decision (viners)

47: Shawnilyn

Madilyn's POV

"I love you, Madilyn..." Shawn whispered as his lips hovered over mine, and he leaned down to kiss me. I kissed him back, slowly making my way onto his lap. I was in his room, and when he kissed me I couldn't resist.

"Shawn," I whispered and he pulled away slowly, but it wasn't Shawn anymore, and we weren't in his room anymore.

"Madilyn, it's me. It's Taylor." his eyes darken, and he leans forward and slams his lips against mine. I lean backwards as he pushes me without breaking the kiss. I don't get it. I was just in Shawn's room, but now I'm in Taylor's. It was Shawn, and now it's Taylor... The thought erases from my mind when Taylor's tongue makes it's way into my mouth, and I let him. His hands slowly start to go up my shirt and I grab them, breathing heavily. "It's okay, Madilyn..." he whispers, looking straight at me. His brown eyes are warm and for a second I believe him, I believe that it's okay and I slowly release my grip on his wrists. "I love you, and I'm going to show you just how much..."

My eyes close as he starts to remove his shirt, but when they open back up it's not him. It's Cameron. "Do you want to do this, beautiful?" he asks as his fingers brush along the side of my face. My breathing comes out shaky but I nod hesitantly. I notice I was in his room now, lying on my back on his bed and he was hovering over me. He brings his lips down to plant them on mine and he kisses me slowly, distracting me from what was about to come, which I didn't even know what that was. I was inexperience, and I didn't know what was going to happen next. But when Cameron pulled away slowly, all I saw was Matt.

It wasn't Cameron anymore, it was Matt, and we were in his room. Matt's chocolate brown eyes never left mine as his hands went to the button of my jeans.

But then, I woke up.

I gasped and sat up on the couch. I fell asleep watching a movie with my brothers.

"Hey, are you okay?" Someone asked from next to me, and I looked over to see Shawn. He looked worried and a little bit scared. I nod but don't speak. I don't even know why he's talking to me. If I were him, I would hate me by now. "Was it a bad dream?"

"Yeah," I answer in a quiet voice, looking down. We were in my living room, and I didn't know why he was here or where my brothers went. "Where is Nash?"

"I need to talk to you." He says, ignoring my question.

My chest tightens and I feel my body go tense. "Where is Nash?" I ask again.

"He went to pick up Cameron and Matt. We're all going to the beach again, Taylor is coming too. You should come with us... but can we talk?"

"I don't want to go to the beach."

"Madilyn, can we please talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about Shawn." I sigh and stand up, walking to the kitchen, but he follows me. I opened the fridge and grabbed a water bottle from it; I couldn't stop thinking about the dream I had. It kind of opened my eyes and made me realize I needed to find out what I want, because I can't be doing this to them. I'm a horrible person.

"Do you not like me like you used to?" he questions from behind me. I turn around and don't say anything, I just step forward and wrap my arms around him. I can tell he wasn't expecting it, but he hugs me back anyway.

"I'm really sorry." I say, and he starts to say something but the sound of the front door opening comes from the living room. I slowly remove my arms from around him and back away, hearing the voices of four loud boys. "We can talk later, okay?"

He nods. "Okay. Are you sure you don't want to go to the beach with us?"

"I'm sure." I give him a smile, and he weakly returns it. He hesitates at first but leans down and kisses my cheek quickly.

"See you later." He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck before turning around and joining the other boys. I quickly go up to my room before I make eye contact with any of them. I really need to figure this all out.

.

Later, when my mom was leaving for work, I had to babysit Sky because neither Hayes or Nash were home. Nash was still at the beach with his friends and he texted me and said they were all coming over after. That's not good, I can't be in the same house as all four of them at once.

They didn't get back until after Skylynn went to sleep and I was watching Dr. Phil episodes that I've recorded for when I was bored.

"Madilyn's bored, I know this because she's watching Dr. Phil!" Taylor exclaims right when they walk through the door. I laugh lightly because everyone knows my habit of watching this show. But my laughter goes away when I lock eyes with Matt. The last time I talked to him, which was three nights ago, it didn't end on a good note. I really miss my best friend.

I give Nash a look to say I don't want to talk to any of them, and he gets what I'm trying to tell him and nods at me. "Come on, guys." he leads them upstairs and the last one to go up is Cameron, and before he does he turns around and winks at me.

My phone vibrates about a half an hour later, and I look at it.

Shawn: can we talk now?

I don't really think now is the time, with the other boys in the house, but I tell him to meet me in my room in ten minutes. I walk upstairs and go into my room, sitting on my bed and waiting for Shawn. He comes in soon and closes me door.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask him but he just shakes his head as he walks towards me.

"I don't want to talk." he says before pushing me back on the bed and kissing me.

I don't know where this side of Shawn came from, but I would be lying if I said I didn't kinda like it. This is bad, this is so bad... but that's not going to stop me from kissing him back.

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three chapters left guys! omg

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MADILYN IS SUCH A SLUT BYE