Regal [h.s au]

51. Different people

Not wanting to separate from Sofia just yet, I lay down on Lilly's bed, letting the sleep catch up to me as well. For the first time in a long time, there are no worries troubling me or sadness constantly swirling in my chest; I sleep peacefully.

When I wake up, fear and panic take over me upon the realisation the baby is gone. Her crib is empty, my heart starting to beat frantically as I quickly rush out of the room, eyes watching all around. I break into a run, but it lasts short considering a strong hand grips my forearm, making me stop abruptly.

"Amelia, what's wrong?" Harry's worried green eyes search mine, both of his hands now circled around my upper arms to keep me in place.

"I can't find the baby..." I mumble in distress, my expression alarmed. "Adam, oh my God..."

"Are you looking for Sofia? She is with Zayn, don't worry," Harry tries to calm me down and steps closer to me, not removing his hands from my body. "She is alright, I promise."

"Yes, Sofia, I meant Sofia." I look down sadly, biting my lower lip. "I don't know why I said Adam."

Harry says nothing, only pulls me into a tight embrace, his palm pressing to the back of my head as he leaves a kiss on my temple. I close my eyes and relax, inhaling his familiar flowery scent. But then his hurtful words of accusation regarding the loss of our son rush through my head, the sense of familiarity fading and being replaced with anger, making me push him away and take a step back.

"I'm fine. I should get back to my room." I wrap my arms around myself, my muscles tensing.

Hurt flashes in his eyes and he grasps my elbow. "Please, let me talk to you."

I pull away from his touch. "No."

"Mel, please. It won't last long, just... give me a chance to say what I want and if you truly want it, I shall leave you at peace after that."

I look away, releasing a heavy sigh. "Fine. Talk."

He is visibly caught off guard, clearing his throat. "Uh, not here. Could we perhaps go to my room? Or any other place if you don't feel comfortable? I have one in mind."

I stay silent and give him a simple nod, letting him lead the way. For some reason, my palms are getting sweaty and my heart is racing while I mentally curse myself for being somewhat hopeful about this. What am I hoping for, I do not know, but whatever Harry wants to say will not erase the damage his cruel words caused.

After a few brief minutes of walking through the castle and eventually the gardens outside, we reach a small circular pond covered with lotus leaves. Harry lowers himself on the grass in front of it, looking up at me pleadingly as he motions for me to sit down beside him. I consider it for a moment before slowly sitting down, leaving enough space between us so I can keep a clear mind, not wanting to let his proximity cloud my senses.

"I miss you," Harry says after a few moments of silence. "I want to repair what is broken between us."

"I don't think there is anything to repair. What we had just... stopped existing." I shrug, picking at the grass strings. His words did come as a surprise, I never truly expected him to crawl back from the state of indifference and carelessnes he fell into. But I don't think he could ever be the same; neither of us can.

"According to my feelings for you, I have to strongly disagree. As long as I love you, there is still something left to fight for. For me, what we had still exists." I feel his intense eyes on me, his hand timidly approaching mine.

Just before our fingers can touch, I abruptly pull my hand away. "You ruined the last bit of it, remember? You blamed me for the death of our child, and you know what is the worst part? I began to question it, Harry, I actually believed you. I began to wonder what kind of a mother I was to leave my son behind and whether my presence could have changed something. I truly started to believe it was my fault." I manage to pour out the toxic thought that has been troubling me without sheding a tear, my fists curled at my sides.