3AM is not a good time to cry because your sadness will grow, and grow. What starts as a crying over a sad poem, will soon be crying over everything you can think of.
If you told Jake this he would say, "it also echos your cry's because the world is still and silent." But if you were to tell someone Jake said this he would beat you up and then go home and break down.
Because at 3AM everything will come out. You will need three pillows for crying at 3AM: 1 to cry into, 1 for when the first one is too wet to cry into anymore, and 1 to hug so it feels like you're not alone. But when you're crying at 3AM you are alone.
Jake doesn't tell anyone what he does at 3AM because he has an image to uphold. And that, 'image' is a tough guy because his dad told him when he was just a little boy, "only pussy's cry, son. And girls don't like pussy's." But Jake is sensitive.
Most nights he'll cry because he's scared his dad doesn't love him. And others he'll cry because he's lost.
The first pillow Jake uses at 3AM is white, because you can't tell it's wet. The second is black because at 3AM there is no light form the soul when you are crying, only darkness from your dread. And the third pillow, it's light grey. So if Jake does get tears on it it'll show, and he'll know better next 3AM.
At 3AM when he opens the window so his tears blend in with the late night rain, he's at peace.
At 3AM Jake is himself. He is not the same guy at 3PM, when he is telling douche jokes so he looks like a man. At 3AM he is crying because he is finally himself, and he knows he can not be himself at all hours.
Tears are cold, and they stain your face. So when you wipe them away you are wiping yourself away, at least that's what Jake will say to himself in a hushed whisper. But since it's 3AM his crying is the loudest thing you'll hear for blocks, and Jake will look at himself in the mirror as 3AM slowly slips away just like his tears.
At 3AM Jake's cries for help and for love, and safety, and really anything more he can think of, drowned the world out. His phone that's underneath his second pillow is ringing, but he is crying too loud.
Because at 3AM, "everything is louder, everything is more painful and no one else is there. That third pillow you have will not hold you, but if you blow your runny nose enough you might almost blow out some of your sadness and it will feel like that third pillow is holding you back." That's what Jake told me at 2:50AM.
YOU ARE READING
At 3AM
PoetryCOMPLETED At 3AM there are 8 different types of people awake, but in the morning, no one will talk about what happened at 3AM. In fact, some of them don't even remember.
