984 (Complex Series, #2)

Chapter Thirty-Four

We stop in front of a door and the Nurse to my left presses her Notice to the scanner on the door. It slides smoothly open.

The room inside is bare, just steel gray walls and floor, with a small cot on the side.  The Nurses release me and take a step back.

Harry says, “Miranda will visit you...when, I don’t know.”

I nod and whisper, “I’m sorry, Harry, I really am.”

Harry looks at me, his face holding nothing but pity, “Grief can do strange things to people.  Miranda knows that.”

Then the Nurses leave and I’m all alone.

I just collapse on the cot.  There’s nothing I want to do more than cry, but I can’t.  I’m numb.  Sienna is going to die.  Brinn is going to die. Josh is already dead. Canton, almost a stranger, is nearly dead.

Our plan has been a complete failure.

I stare at the ceiling. I push all the miserable thoughts out of my head, forcing myself to focus only on staring at all the different colors the steel can take with the shifting light.

It reminds me of my situation. Everything can seem fine in one light and then you change perspective and realize that everything has been failing and falling apart around you.  Only, you realize it when it’s too late.

I shift my head back and forth slightly watching the changing of colors, while grief’s pressure on me threatens to completely overtake me.  

˚˚°˚˚

I wake to an exaggerating clearing of a throat.  My eyes flutter open and I see Miranda’s facing hovering in front of my own.

When she sees that I’m awake, she straightens up, glancing away for a second. I sit up, trying to blink away the lull of sleep.

Miranda begins her ever-present habit of pacing.

By now, sleep has calmed my anger towards Miranda. I understand how foolish it was to blame Sienna’s death on her.  Miranda had no choice on whether we sent Sienna or not. 

It’s the Heads I should be blaming.

Miranda opens her mouth to speak, but I get there first. I say, “I’m sorry Miranda. I know now that there was nothing you could have done to keep Sienna safe.  I just…in the moment, I was so angry…and…I took that anger out on you. I know that wasn’t okay to do, but-“

Miranda stops pacing and interrupts. She gives me a sympathetic smile, “Piper, it’s okay. I forgive you. I’ve been there, filled with such hopelessness that you have no idea how you can keep going. You don’t see the purpose of anything anymore. I understand, honestly.  That’s why I came to talk to you. I wanted you to know that I understand what you are going through.”

 “I also want to apologize for going to talk to Dana without telling anyone. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, I just…I just had to know…some things.”

Miranda smiles sadly, “I can relate to that too, and I’m not mad about that either.  I just wish you had talked to Charlotte or me about it, though.  We could have gotten you together privately with Dana and known where you were.

I nod, “I’ll ask the next time, I promise.”

Miranda nods and silence fills the room. Relief spreads through me, Miranda isn’t mad at me, she seems to be completely understanding.

“Can I ask you something?” I whisper.

Miranda just shrugs, “You can ask, I’ll only answer depending on what the question is.”

I bite my lip and ask a question that has been bothering me for a while, “What…what was the ‘evidence’ you had against me, that made you doubt my true past?”

Miranda looks away and runs her hands through her hair. She strides towards my cot and sits on the floor in front of it, leaning her back against the frame, not looking at me. 

She stares straight ahead, “Martin, one of the Techs, monitors messages on Notices. He doesn’t read every message or anything like that. He created a system that catches certain words or phrases that would arouse suspicion.  So, naturally, when a Notice that wasn’t connected and registered into his system started sending messages to you, he was notified. He was confused and looked into things.  All Notices have, like I told you at your first meeting with me as a Rivie, have a tracking chip in them. Martin was even more confused when he discovered that the Notice messaging you was from outside the Unknown.”

She pauses slightly to let it sink in.  They know about me messaging the rogue Officials. They’ve been aware the whole time.

Miranda continues, “The tracking chip on the Notice had been disabled, but Martin was able to easily re-activate it. Naturally, he started monitoring the messages between you and the unknown Notice and notified me.”

Miranda plays with her fingers in her lap, “Those messages, Piper, they looked a lot like you were working for the Officials as a spy here, seeing who was and wasn’t rebellious.”

She turns her head to the side, so she could glance at me out of the corner of her eye.  “I learned about those messages the day of the Unknown rebellious meeting and well…the evidence was right there. I had a few brave people stage a fake meeting, with fake stupid plans just so that…”

She turns her head away in shame, “Just so that I could ask you that one question, your true story on how you got here.  You have to admit, Piper, it’s an unbelievable story.  I didn’t believe you for a second that night.  How could I believe it when I thought you were a spy of the Heads? The evidence was right there, and all you had was a story. So…I made you leave.

“But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wanted to believe it, I wanted there to be rebellious Officials but…I barely could. Martin and I, we didn’t tell anyone else about the Notice messages, we kept monitoring your messages and it made your story sound more and more believable. If it had all been fake, Piper, I doubt you and Sienna could have acted out what happened today.  If you had all been spies, the Officials wouldn’t have just taken you out of the Unknown.”

Miranda believes me. She finally sees now how I have been telling the truth the whole time. I have the Leader of the Unknown and the leader of the rebellious group on my side.

And the rebellious meeting, it was all an act. They must be accomplishing other things beside poisoning Ellen’s flowers. I knew that they had to be doing something more.

I say, “But, the rogue Officials…they said the messages were untraceable.”

Miranda lets out a short laugh, “Untraceable by other Officials and the Heads, most likely. It would be very difficult for them to slip by Martin though.”

She sighs, “He is almost twenty. Soon, his intelligence will be wasted by the Heads. All the nineteen years of today, they will be gone within 60 days. The Heads take all of them at the same time. Then…the next year…I’ll be gone too.”

How do I comfort someone from a fate I can’t change?

A depressed silence once again envelops the room.

Miranda purses her lips, “There’s something else I have to tell you.”

My heart starts to pick up its beat, “What is it?”

Miranda runs her hand through her hair, “It’s Christopher. I know that he was talking to you again today. I know you walked away from him, then went back to the Eating Hall with him.”

I nod and blush as I explain my mistake, “I left, but he followed.  I tried to lose him, but all I did was get myself lost.  He promised he’d take me back to the Eating Hall, if I talked to him for only five minutes. I figured five minutes of chatting would be better then wandering the halls. I didn’t have to give him any information anyway. I just…made him mad.”

Miranda nods in agreement, “It seems as though you have made him very mad."

She pauses then adds, "He’s filing an Examination against you.”