everything, but nothing all at once

10

long time no see old pal. i haven't needed this for awhile, ive been good, actually, really good these past few weeks. its starting to crumble though. my friends dont care for me anymore, whether it be online or offline. ive lost my best friend at school, im lucky if she says a single sentence to me all day. they've all replaced me for someone. i dont need them anyways, im better off alone so i stop hurting people. my constant pressuring thoughts made me relapse the other day and this week so far has brought me so close to doing what i thought id never bring myself to do. all i have is him and even he deserves better than me, and he could easily get better than me. im a fuck up and honestly i could care less if my "friends" read this. maybe if you all stopped ignoring me id be happy. until then, just leave me the hell alone and stop hurting me. im tired of trying just to be immediately turned down. at least my internet friends want to talk to me. bye.