One Of The Boys

And She's Back

He couldn't stop the way he felt, but he sure as hell was going to try.

Natsu had sat down, thought long and hard about the situation and everything that was stirring inside of him. He had to think, come up with a gameplan for the future, figure out his strategy as he went forwards.

Clearly, Lucy liked Gray. He'd asked her out and she said yes. She'd gotten all dressed up, decked herself out completely, looked ravishing, and gone out with him. As much as Natsu would love to convince himself that Lucy didn't like Gray, the facts were against him.

And Gray obviously liked Lucy. What wasn't there to like?

And Natsu liked her, too. Except he wasn't supposed to and he felt like a real creep. He was supposed to be her big brother figure, and here was, laying in bed at night thinking about her lips and her eyes and her hair, and—

He had to focus.

So, he liked her. But it was a lost cause, because she liked Gray and she was Lucy and she was far too good for him, so he had to give it up. He had to change his feelings. He had to stop all of these feelings, stop them in their tracks, out of respect for his two friends.

They were happy together, so he should be happy for them. But he couldn't be happy for them if he was sitting there, crying in his room while Lucy went out with Gray and kissed him and had a blast. So, he had to stop it, cold turkey.

No more liking Lucy. Easy.

So, when the night was coming to a close and Lucy would probably be getting home from her first date with Gray, Natsu pulled his curtains shut. The action was horrifyingly difficult for him—the idea of cutting Lucy off, closing her out appalled him. It took him ten minutes to close the damn things.

But it was for the best. Because he knew if he saw her in that red dress again, it would break him. And if they chatted all night, and she changed into her pajamas and put her hair up, he knew he'd fall absolutely in love with her. And the whole forgetting his feelings thing would just break his heart that much more.

So he closed the curtains and he slammed his head under his pillow and he swore at himself until he fell asleep, because fuck his stupid emotions. Why Lucy? Why'd he have to love Lucy?

He tried to sleep. He was awake for a while, tossing and turning, because he finally knew exactly how it felt to be desperately in love with someone. Horrible. It felt horrible. He fell asleep around midnight, face smushed into his pillow, sweaty.

He could've slept for days, honestly. He was so mentally exhausted nothing even mattered anymore.

But he was awoken around three in the morning by the sound of his bedroom door swinging open and the sound of feet scuffling nearby.

Natsu had jolted awake, hopping up, heart pounding. An intruder. His hands balled into fists and he brought them up, his natural fighting instincts taking over.

"Jesus!" A little voice cried as he jumped to his feet. "Natsu, chill out. It's me."

Natsu's head cocked to the side and he frowned into the darkness, unable to see. "Luce?"

"Who else would be in your room at three AM?"

Natsu shrugged. "Burglar."

"Well, I'm not a burglar."

He blinked, voice tight. Being in the same room as her was hard—he was trying to desperately contain his thoughts, trying not to think of her as a person he was in love with. He was trying to see her as a friend, nothing more.