Destroying everything {Lasercorn}

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Lex

We finished recording all of the rest of the videos for smosh summer games wild west and then headed back this time choosing our seats. I sat with Lasercorn obviously. I was still even though it was a few days later shocked by what Shayne said. I didn't realize he cared so much.

We arrived at the office and then went to the house just me and Wes. I went up and saw the first video posted for summer games. I went to the comments and saw pretty positive comments. Most of them about references to the video others saying what they liked about different people. And then I read one.

I'm not sure how I feel about Alexis. She seems alright but in other videos she seems like she doesn't fit too mych into the mold. She tries to hard to fit in and the others look like they only kinda like her. Thats just my observation. She doesn't seem *too* bad though.

It didn't ruin my day but it did make me want to pay more attention to the video. They seemed to like me but it made me anxious thinking they didn't like me. Yeah everyone has an opinion but I mean I work with them. If they hate me it'll be hard to work with them. I shook it off grabbing my camera and deciding to make a special video.

I sat at my desk and put my camera up on a small stack of movies. I turned it on and began. "Hey guys. Umm this video is going to be alot more serious than any of my most recent stuff. That's mainly why the format is going to be alot more like my older stuff." I started.

"There are going to be little to no editing on my talking part right now and I'm not sure how long this video is. I'll put times if its long in the description. Anyways let me get into my subject for today." I said. "Earlier this month alot happened. Me moving with my brother, the thing with my boyfriend, meeting all of my new friends and coworkers, smosh summer games. And in the midst of all of it something unbelievable happened." I had already started tearing up.

"There was a pride parade that I mentioned in abvideo that three of my lghtq+ friends were going to. There was a shooting at it and I pray for all who were effected by it. Two of my greatest friends were killed. Ryan and Abbey. I've done a few videos with them and you also know mikki. Mikki survived though they got injured."

"This is a message to everyone. And I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone truthfully. But if you are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or in any form abusive or think you are higher up then everyone else do to ethnicity, race, sexuality orientation, gender identity and/or expression, please get off of my channel." I stated.

"I don't want to seem harsh but people kill people because of things like this. Because they are racist, or homophobic, or transphobic. And my channel doesn't have room for it. I want my channel to be a safe environment for all people. People with mental disorders or illnesses, people going through a rough time, people who have homophobic or transphobic families, people who have to deal with racism or sexism on a daily basis." I said a tear slipping down my cheek. I wiped it away and continued talking.

"I want this to be a safe environment for you guys and even if you are any of the things I listed as long as you don't say anything rude or discriminatory towards people on my channel you can be welcome to. I'm obviously not going to go to everyone and ever comment and tell you to get off of my channel but you know what you're saying and doing. It hurts others and its gotta be on your conscience. I know when I just tell a little white lie I think about it for at least an hour afterwards unless I'm just that busy." I said.

"My friends were taken from this world too soon and they were some of the best people I knew. I mess them so much but I still have Mikki and their memory will carry on. Thats all I really have to say. And before you take what I say and throw it away or let it go through one ear and out of the other think about it."

"What you say and do to others can affect them negatively. You don't know if they deal with abuse, racism, sexism, Homophobia, transphobia, any form of discrimination. you have no Idea what they are going through and they could easily go and just off themselves. And it coukd be your fault."

"People more commonly remember the bad you do and the reason I think is because it's easier to hold a grudge over someone and have a reason to hate them than find the good things even if they are little and have a reason to like them and be friends with them."

"The bad out weighs the good so if you want to be remembered for the good do more of it. Am I a saint? No. I'm human. We all are. We lie and cheat our way through situations as most people do. We make mistakes. Its who we are and mistakes can be forgiven if you know what the mistake was and you try to fix it. Even if you can't but you still make the attempt its ok. Mistakes are made and can be forgiven. Trust me I make mistakes and people forgive me and I vice versa."

"A lyric in the song grudges by paramore goes 'We just pick up, pick up, and start again 'cause we can't keep holding on to grudges.' And I love that line. Its true. We coukd if we wanted to but it becomes petty, and draining. Why can't we just let it go. I digress though. Think about what I said though. And enjoy the rest of the video." I said closing out the talking part.

I turned off my camera and gave myself a moment to recompose myself. I left my room and went downstairs getting some water and I saw Wes sitting st the table. "Your speech was awesome Alexis." He said. "You were listening?" I asked. "Yeah I was gonna walk in and ask if you wanted to go out and pick up something for dinner. I heard your speech and decided to just wait." He said.

"How much of it did you hear?" I asked him. "I got there when you said 'Ryan and Abbey were taken feom this world too soon." He said. "I got really emotional but I didn't melt down like at the funeral. I'm gonna go film the song part of the video I'll see you in a little while." I said and headed back up stairs grabing my guitar and sitting down at my desk.

Hey guys. I think my mom is pissed at me. I don't know exactly what I did so I decided To writoand vent out my frustrations into my writing without making it all me me me. Thought it was about time to bring this chaoter sround. I also got lazy and didn't want to write out the rest of the summer games videos.

Rorsy hatt yerevhitgn I od si os abd.

^^^Words scramble go!!^^^