okay this is trash but i legit had no clue what to write lmfao rip y'all you're the one who has to read this
"oh." ryan mumbled back, freezing underneath brendon but holding tighter to him nonetheless. "okay." he said again and didn't move anything but his eyes. he brought them up to brendon's scared one's. ryan was confused at first before he realized why he may be afraid. "oh! oh my god!" ryan exclaimed and held a hand over his mouth. he wasn't sure what to say, he didn't know if he loved brendon back. he doesn't know what love is, he's 17 and the closest he's had to an emotional connection was a one night stand that he regrets.
then again, brendon made him feel so many things. he always felt safe around brendon, hence why he called him the day before. somehow, ryan always felt small and beautiful around him; his sweet words made him shiver all over. the way brendon looks at him had his knees turn to jelly, his company always made him feel better. his smile always made ryan smile no matter how terrible he feels.
"i don't know." ryan said and watched brendon's expression transition into confusion. "what?" brendon asked readjusting the way he was holding himself up again. "i'm 17, i don't know what love is!" ryan said now panicking, afraid that brendon would get angry.
brendon quickly became sympathetic, understanding what ryan was talking about. "don't stress about it, doll." brendon spoke kissing his shoulder before sitting back on his heels giving his arms a rest. ryan propped himself up on his elbows. looking up at brendon "m' sorry..." he mumbled and lookined down at brendon's hands on his thighs above him. "don't be, ever. especially for something like that, i can't tell you how to feel." brendon said and rolled off of ryan to lay beside him. he looked over at him goofily, causing that toothy smile brendon loved so much. his heart strained as he remembered ryan didn't love him, deep down he hoped ryan would change his mind soon.
